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momebieSo I went to see The Last Airbender this afternoon with Em and Lisa. I'll give you all five seconds to get your 'I told you so's' out of the way.
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The thing is, HOW IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A MOVIE TO BE THAT BAD? I'm really easy when it comes to movies, guys. All they have to do is NOT PUT ME TO SLEEP. You know how Em likes to read horrible books and fic just so she can put all of the pain in her soul to good use? I DO THAT WITH MOVIES. And this movie was so bad I didn't even enjoy it sucking.
I was very purposefully not taking a big political stance on the whole thing. I'm just not the kind of person who feels right making those sorts of judgments. But it's not like they can even say 'well, there was all this controversy, but we made a really good movie', because they didn't. They didn't even make a passable movie. They made a movie that made ECLIPSE look like the best movie released this year. ECLIPSE. A TWILIGHT MOVIE. WAS A HUNDRED TIMES BETTER THAN AVATAR.
And it could have been a modestly mediocre movie, except for most of the acting was horrible. And when I say horrible I mean I could probably have done a turn better, and um...I do not act. Ever. Not since that one monologue in high school when a fellow student asked me if I was really going to kill myself.
And even if they could have scraped together some decent actors (Jackson did okay for the first fifteen minutes when he got to be kind of funny and then again when he asked Yue why her hair was white, and I still love Dev Patel, okay?) the script was the most painful thing I've ever heard in my life. It was pretty much entirely exposition. And not only was it entirely exposition, but it repeated itself over and over and over again. What's that commander Zhao? You raided the great library? And found out about the moon and ocean spirits? And are going to kill them? I'm sorry, I didn't quite get that, can you have three different people run it by me FOUR MORE TIMES.
I get that Avatar is a kid's show, but the cartoon itself is written with wit and humour and great care and intelligence. The cartoon has faith in its young viewers and it believes they will understand, because they know kids aren't dumb just because they're young. The movie did not have that same faith in its audience, and that was the very worst thing about it.
Now, there were some scenes in the movie that would have been lovely in a different movie. Mostly scenes where there was actually action and not people standing around listening to huge chunks of exposition. And the movie LOOKED good. With the exception of Momo who just looked too bright, I think, against his backgrounds. Like his saturation was turned up against the movie. He didn't seem to fit. And I've seen people bitch about how they didn't make the martial arts styles for the bending different in the movies, but I think they actually did a pretty good job of the choreography on those, and I could definitely tell that there were four distinct styles, even without the elements involved. Also, Jackson Rathbone did this eyebrow flip in one of the scenes that was very amusing. I could have just watched that for two hours and been fine. Maybe interspersed with him getting knocked over by Appa's tail and soaked by Katara's clumsy bending.
Mostly what I and the other two are curious about is whether that movie would have made any sense to someone who hadn't seen the series. Because uh...we'd all seen it and it didn't make any sense to us.
I'm leaving this unlocked in case anyone wants to tell people to come laugh at me. I'm not actually mad about spending money to see it, I'm mostly disappointed in its lack of care and faith and intelligence. They took brilliant source material and chopped it up and then didn't know how to put it back together. It's a damn shame.
I'm going to watch some of the cartoon to soothe my broken soul. Here, have Jackson with his vampire hair. I know that always makes me feel better.
.
.
.
.
.
The thing is, HOW IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A MOVIE TO BE THAT BAD? I'm really easy when it comes to movies, guys. All they have to do is NOT PUT ME TO SLEEP. You know how Em likes to read horrible books and fic just so she can put all of the pain in her soul to good use? I DO THAT WITH MOVIES. And this movie was so bad I didn't even enjoy it sucking.
I was very purposefully not taking a big political stance on the whole thing. I'm just not the kind of person who feels right making those sorts of judgments. But it's not like they can even say 'well, there was all this controversy, but we made a really good movie', because they didn't. They didn't even make a passable movie. They made a movie that made ECLIPSE look like the best movie released this year. ECLIPSE. A TWILIGHT MOVIE. WAS A HUNDRED TIMES BETTER THAN AVATAR.
And it could have been a modestly mediocre movie, except for most of the acting was horrible. And when I say horrible I mean I could probably have done a turn better, and um...I do not act. Ever. Not since that one monologue in high school when a fellow student asked me if I was really going to kill myself.
And even if they could have scraped together some decent actors (Jackson did okay for the first fifteen minutes when he got to be kind of funny and then again when he asked Yue why her hair was white, and I still love Dev Patel, okay?) the script was the most painful thing I've ever heard in my life. It was pretty much entirely exposition. And not only was it entirely exposition, but it repeated itself over and over and over again. What's that commander Zhao? You raided the great library? And found out about the moon and ocean spirits? And are going to kill them? I'm sorry, I didn't quite get that, can you have three different people run it by me FOUR MORE TIMES.
I get that Avatar is a kid's show, but the cartoon itself is written with wit and humour and great care and intelligence. The cartoon has faith in its young viewers and it believes they will understand, because they know kids aren't dumb just because they're young. The movie did not have that same faith in its audience, and that was the very worst thing about it.
Now, there were some scenes in the movie that would have been lovely in a different movie. Mostly scenes where there was actually action and not people standing around listening to huge chunks of exposition. And the movie LOOKED good. With the exception of Momo who just looked too bright, I think, against his backgrounds. Like his saturation was turned up against the movie. He didn't seem to fit. And I've seen people bitch about how they didn't make the martial arts styles for the bending different in the movies, but I think they actually did a pretty good job of the choreography on those, and I could definitely tell that there were four distinct styles, even without the elements involved. Also, Jackson Rathbone did this eyebrow flip in one of the scenes that was very amusing. I could have just watched that for two hours and been fine. Maybe interspersed with him getting knocked over by Appa's tail and soaked by Katara's clumsy bending.
Mostly what I and the other two are curious about is whether that movie would have made any sense to someone who hadn't seen the series. Because uh...we'd all seen it and it didn't make any sense to us.
I'm leaving this unlocked in case anyone wants to tell people to come laugh at me. I'm not actually mad about spending money to see it, I'm mostly disappointed in its lack of care and faith and intelligence. They took brilliant source material and chopped it up and then didn't know how to put it back together. It's a damn shame.
I'm going to watch some of the cartoon to soothe my broken soul. Here, have Jackson with his vampire hair. I know that always makes me feel better.
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no subject
Date: 2010-07-04 12:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-04 12:54 am (UTC)I'm pretty sure that if I ever see M Night Whatsisface as writer on anything for the rest of my life, I'm just going to preemptively set it on fire.
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2010-07-04 02:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-04 12:48 am (UTC)i'm not a fan of M Night Shamalamadingdong and i know nothing of the cartoons, but i so got sucked into all the hype over this movie and i was kind of looking forward to it...i love Rathbone and Patel and want them both to be uber stars
i'll let you know what it's like from a virgin's point of view :)
no subject
Date: 2010-07-04 12:57 am (UTC)I would love for Patel and Rathbone to become huge. Objectively I think Patel can act circles around Rathbone, but I really like Jackson. He's kind of quirky. Also, adorable.
And yeah, let me know if it makes sense. I just can't even.
(no subject)
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Date: 2010-07-04 02:59 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2010-07-04 12:48 am (UTC)also: appa's face freaked me out. his body looked awesome, they did a really great job with it, but the face was terrifying.
no subject
Date: 2010-07-04 12:58 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2010-07-04 01:04 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2010-07-04 02:56 am (UTC)HE MUST HATE HIS KIDS IS WHAT I'M SAYING.
no subject
Date: 2010-07-04 12:50 am (UTC)I think I'll go watch some of the cartoon now. I keep catching bits and pieces while the kids watch, and out of order.
no subject
Date: 2010-07-04 12:59 am (UTC)(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2010-07-04 01:07 am (UTC)I seriously don't know how they made such a horrible movie from that series.
And seriously: WHY DOES EVERYONE ELSE GET TO BE ASIAN?!
PS. Zhao raided the great library. I think you totally forgot that part of the movie.
no subject
Date: 2010-07-04 01:10 am (UTC)(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2010-07-04 01:35 am (UTC)OH MY GOD. THERE WERE SO MANY GREAT LINES THEY COULD HAVE RIPPED RIGHT FROM THE FUCKING CARTOON AND PEOPLE WHO HAVE LOVED THEM FOR IT, AND DID THEY? NO. I MEAN. BOOMERANG! YOU DO ALWAYS COME BACK!
I'm such an optimist though. I keep hoping things will get better. And I keep having to learn that they don't. *sigh*
Sorry. I forget lots of things. I think they maybe didn't cover it enough.
(no subject)
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From:no subject
Date: 2010-07-04 02:57 am (UTC)(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2010-07-04 01:25 am (UTC)I'm sorry you had to endure that.
no subject
Date: 2010-07-04 01:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-04 02:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-04 10:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-04 02:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-04 10:09 am (UTC)(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2010-07-04 03:25 am (UTC)brb hiding under my bed in embarrassment.
no subject
Date: 2010-07-04 10:11 am (UTC)(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2010-07-04 03:44 am (UTC)i guess ill just wait for it to come to dvd or something.
and lol i found this and it made me think of your review :P
no subject
Date: 2010-07-04 10:13 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-04 04:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-04 10:17 am (UTC)I don't usually agree with popular opinion either, which is part of why I was all 'meh, it can't be THAT bad'. But man, it really is. If you do watch it, don't watch it from the perspective of someone who likes stories. There's entirely too much exposition and most of it doesn't make sense. Heh.
no subject
Date: 2010-07-04 05:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-04 10:19 am (UTC)