LJ Idol: Post Mortem.

[momebie]

So, it happened. I was voted off in the Second Round poll. But I feel like placing 18 (based on the vote tally at the closing of the poll) in an original pack of 250 or so is a pretty awesome thing. It's definitely better than I thought I'd do by, ooooooh, 200 or so. That's not a unique feeling for the competition though, and since I don't feel like I have a lot of unique feelings I'm just going to focus on myself for the time being.

Here are some numbers that I find interesting, because sometimes Em rubs off on me (oh baby):
Entries: 23
Fiction: 20
Entries in the BDESFN 'verse: 3
Entries in the Steampunk 'verse: 3
Entries in new 'verses: 14

That's a lot of new head canon, guys. When I go back and look at the last several years of writing--the three since I started working with the Steampunk characters in particular*--I look at a lot of empty space. I look at a lot of time spent feeling inadequate and unable to relay the worlds in my head to people outside of it. I look at a lot of time sat in front of blank documents and a lot of half finished stories that I just lost passion for before I got to the editing stage.

The bottom line is that I LOVE creating worlds and I love research and I love getting to know my characters, but I have a hard time carving out which parts of the story to keep or not keep and actually sitting my ass down to FINISH things. Teaching myself to do that was one of my goals for this year and I think that's the greatest thing I've taken away from all of this. For twenty some odd weeks (roughly) in a row I sat down and made something happen. I tugged at my brain and things actually came out of it. Sometimes things I liked quite a bit. And that bit is invaluable. I'm going to try and take that training and run with it as I complete that first draft of The Steampunk this year (if it kills me) and get working on the BDESFN in earnest.

Basically, thank you Idol, you've given me a lot. I'm glad I let bewize convince me to try this crazy thing. I'm glad I let theemdash talk me out of quitting weeks ago. I'm glad to have gotten to know all of you. I think most of you who want to be friends with me have probably already asked, but if you do and you're feeling hesitant, please go ahead and just let me know. I don't bite until the third date. I like biting! It's like kissing but with a winner!


* My god, it's been three years since I started working on The Steampunk. And look what I have to show for it. This is my whole point.

In news altogether unrelated to writing, Brendon Urie is still in the universe being REALLY FREAKING ADORABLE and I almost can't take it. Like, just seeing him smile fills me to the brim with joy and I wish I knew why because it makes me feel seriously predatory and creepy when I think about it. BUT I MEAN, JUST LOOK AT HIM.

Comments

[tentaclecore]

You were seriously the first person I saw in the IDOL crowd who I was like, "oh wow this chick is cool, I want to know her." And I'll always be thankful to that community for creating a space for us to meet and become friends ♥

(also, it is so cool that you're taking away so much from IDOL. I'm glad it worked for you, really I am.)


Ahaha, Brendon Urie. That boy is older than me and I feel strange and creepy going eeeeee over him. It's just one of his finer qualities, making females all over the world go starry-eyed and not give a damn if it's weird or not.

[momebie.livejournal.com]

Pretty much. I'm kind of impressed that I didn't let myself be intimidated by you. I MEAN, NOW I KNOW YOU'RE KIND OF A SPAZ, BUT IT'S TOTALLY ENDEARING, SO THAT'S FINE. I LOVE YOOOOOU. ♥

(I try and take good things from all of my experiences. Sometimes it's easier than others.)

UGH. UGH. HE'S FIVE YERAS YOUNGER THAN I AM. I FEEL LIKE SUCH AN OLD CRAZY LADY. But yes, that is definitely one of his super powers.

[tentaclecore]

lolwhat intimidation. I totally loom at people, this is true. I loom at them and take their cookies and am a generally all around mean person. (THANK YOU FOR FINDING THE SPAZZY BITS ENDEARING, I SORT OF WORRY ABOUT THAT, AND ILU2 ♥ ♥ ♥)

(You are a better person than I am. This is a good thing.)

I think the Panic! boys in general are just on earth to make people feel inadequate, but in a good way. I mean, Spencer? Is a couple of months older than me and faaaaamous and all that shit and it's just like "WHAT HAVE A DONE WITH MY LIFE I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE PICKED UP THE DRUMS AT NINE LIKE I ORIGINALLY WANTED TOO ;___;" but then you look at them and adore them and it's all good again. Feeling as passed. Cute smushiness returned. *smushes EVERYTHING*

[momebie.livejournal.com]

WHY DOES EVERYONE LOOM BETTER THAN I DO? I TRIED TO HAVE A LOOM OFF WITH MY FRIEND KAT WHEN SHE WAS DOWN AND EVERYONE I KNOW WAS ALL 'NOOOOOO, KAT LOOMS SO WELL AND YOU LOOK LIKE IT'S COOKIE TIME'. But I like cookies. It's all very sad. :( (Oh man. I'm the biggest spaz ever. It's more that I just like to recognize it in others because it makes me feel less like I should hide in a corner forever.)

PRETTY MUCH. And don't get me started on fucking Patrick Stump. Boy just about owns the world compared to all the things I haven't done. *sighsigh*

[tentaclecore]

WE LOOM BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU. And because you are made of lovely lovely fluff, whereas the rest of us spit venom. Do not worry, it means the cookies taste better to you :\ (lmao, I sort of go around life wondering why the hell people are always backing away slowly from me when I'm really just a weirdo who happens to cackle a lot, okay. And then I realise they're scared of me and it's sadface time and waaaaaaaaaah. So yes, just assume everyone is spazzy because us mean weirdos don't want to be known as such. /ramble ramble whoo)

STUUUUUUUMPH. Yeah, know what you mean there. STOP BEING SO AWESOME TRICK. AND PUT BACK ON THE HATS, YOU WERE ADORABLE WITH THE HATS.

(gdi I need to make more Bob iconzzzzzz. but he looks like such a lurking ogre in most of the shoots that I've just. not done it yet >_>;;;; so hard to crop out lurching ogreness! so, so hard.)