Mostly the bit about William embarrassing both of them with all his TOUCHING. I'm still not certain Jon would attack William with a priceless vase as much as that thought makes me die with laughter.
You know I love the dog bits. Admittedly in part because it reminds me of "dog of the military" and you know how I love that concept.
EDMUND LOVES TREATING HIS SABER, I GET IT.
That last line for William works SO well. It's totally him whether or not he voices it.
Also, so I don't forget to tell you later, the amount of world-building details you have, like the Sarmillian plum wine and the jokes about polishing sabers are just perfect. I kind of want you to read TAM and suggest things I can add because that's something I think is a weak point for me but it seems to come to you quite naturally. YOUR BRAIN IS AWESOME.
(Also, also, I would love to have it canon that William is kind of jealous of Amelia. I adored that part. ♥)
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2011-05-20 01:32 pm (UTC)You know I love the dog bits.
Admittedly in part because it reminds me of "dog of the military" and you know how I love that concept.EDMUND LOVES TREATING HIS SABER, I GET IT.
That last line for William works SO well. It's totally him whether or not he voices it.
Also, so I don't forget to tell you later, the amount of world-building details you have, like the Sarmillian plum wine and the jokes about polishing sabers are just perfect. I kind of want you to read TAM and suggest things I can add because that's something I think is a weak point for me but it seems to come to you quite naturally. YOUR BRAIN IS AWESOME.
(Also, also, I would love to have it canon that William is kind of jealous of Amelia. I adored that part. ♥)