momebie: (Mighty Boosh Gayist)
[personal profile] momebie
Original Fiction.
~1,500 words.
Because the one from last week got fairly good reviews and people asked for more. It just gets weirder the further I go, kids. I hope it's still interesting to you.



The next time Mattie saw the halo she was sitting in the back pew of the Diviner's House watching the Choral Cantata of Hours. The Cantata of Hours was based loosely on the one original Diviner, who had found his way across the ridges of a great canyon in total darkness without falling over the edge. It was said that he had been blessed by the land itself with the ability to feel out the core of the earth. They said that he vibrated, the closer he got to it. Mattie didn't know how she felt about the mythology, but she was certain that she had felt a vibrating like that at times in her life before.

As she opened her eyes after the Diviner's Benediction, she saw a low, wavering glow out the corner of her vision. Mattie turned her head. It was the woman.

Mattie couldn't think of the woman as anything but her. She was the woman she'd seen the other day, but at the same time, she was also the girl Mattie had been so smitten with those fifteen years ago. Mattie couldn't reconcile these two people in her mind. Instead of trying, she turned back to the choir and closed her eyes again, nodding her head slowly in time.

* * *


The Old Man was sitting outside of the Diviner's House and Mattie hung back, not sure if she should risk entering. She had been told not to talk to strangers, a term which she always understood to mean 'people who are different from you' rather than simply people that she didn't know. Then again, she had also been told that if she didn't go and properly tithe the part of her allowance she'd conveniently left out of the offering the day before, she wouldn't be allowed to participate in after school play. She felt that, at the tender age of eight, she finally understood what her father meant about life being a series of hard choices.

Mattie reached into her pocket and pulled the coins into her fingers, closing them tightly around the hard, sharp discs. She took a deep breath, lifted her chin, and marched forward toward the double doors of the Diviner's House. She peeked to the side as she scrambled up the steps and saw the Old Man watching her with a small smile on his face. He didn't speak to her. She tugged on the heavy wooden door, and once she'd slipped into the safe darkness inside she leaned back against it to shut it, letting out a long sigh.

She wasn't used to seeing the inside of the Great Room with no one else in it. The long rows of pews seemed to go on forever, and the cool shadows that fell from them looked like they were shifting in the afternoon light. She imagined them restless, like her cat first thing in the morning. Mattie pressed herself flat against the door. Maybe she could just leave the money there on the floor beside the last pew. It would find its way to the collection plate if it was really meant to.

Suddenly, the door was no longer behind her, and she was falling backwards into the sunlight. A thin, wiry arm caught her before she hit the ground and pushed her up, steadying her on her feet. “Careful darlin', you don't want to scrape your knee and ruin those pretty little tights.”

Mattie blinked several times, letting her eyes readjust to the light. The Old Man was standing behind her. She immediately pulled away from him.

He chuckled. “Have I really gotten so tragic looking, in my old age?”

“I'm not supposed to talk to you,” Mattie said.

“I'm sure you're not supposed to talk to a great deal of people.”

“Only the strange ones.”

At this he laughed. It was a low sound that rattled up through his stomach and rib cage and got half caught in his throat. “Aye, I am that.”

Mattie turned around and looked up at him. His hair was mussed and his clothing was rumpled, but his bright eyes shone in the orange-gold light from the sun. He didn't seem too dangerous. “Will you come in with me?”

“Do you have a task you need performed, my lady?” He ducked down a bit and swept his arm low in a mock bow.

“I need to put this money into the collection plate, but it's dark-”

“And you're afraid the monsters will get you,” he said, nodding sagely.

“Yes.”

“Well then,” the Old Man held out his hand. She saw that there were two black lines drawn about his wrist. The loops of the two edges met on the top and the lines crossed along the bottom. They were the same markings the original Diviner had found on himself when he'd survived his trial. The man was old, but he was way too young to have been the first Diviner. He noticed that she was staring at his wrist and shook his hand slightly. “Come on, your parents will surely want you back by supper time.”

She nodded and put her hand into his. His skin was dry and warm against hers, and as he led her into the Great Room and down the row of pews she felt strong, like he was lending her his strength. When they reached the plate he held back and looked away, because it was impolite to see what a person was leaving for the Diviners. Not wanting to let go, she tugged forward as far as she could, leaning away as he held her up. The coins made a racket as they hit the bare bottom of the brass plate.

“Who's there?”

Mattie tensed up. The Head Diviner stood at the front of the room. She had heard no pat of footfall or creak of door hinge, so she could only assume that he had materialized there. There was a moment of silence while the Head Diviner looked at the Old Man and the Old Man looked back. All of the light had left his eyes and his fingers were holding onto hers so tightly that she was worried they would melt into him.

“You have no place in this house,” the Head Diviner said.

“Who are you to tell me where I cannot be?”

“The head of this House of Divinity, in case you hadn't received the news.” His smile stretched across his face and the shadows in his hollow cheeks grew deeper. “Leave the girl and get out.”

The Old Man let go of her hand and she turned around to run after him. He knelt down and placed his hands on her shoulders, holding her at arm's length. “I'll be right outside,” he said. Then he stood and plodded heavily down the long aisle between the pews, molting grace as he went.

“As for you,” the Head Diviner said, his voice now very close. She refused to turn around and look at him. “You will learn to heed the words of your elders. You will learn not to place your trust in Blasphemers and Knaves.” He gripped her upper arm hard in his bony fingers and dragged her towards the rear door to the Great Room.

The Old Man closed the front doors behind him, leaving her once again in the dark.

* * *


Mattie was having a smoke on the steps of the Diviner's House. It was disgraceful that at twenty-three she was still savoring small rebellions. That's what her mother said, at least, always leaving the middle syllable to hang for a moment before finishing the word. Disgraceful. It made Mattie think extra hard about the absence of grace and how it hung about her life.

“Can I have a light?”

When she looked up Mattie saw the halo, resting lightly over the woman's sharp face. She must have stared for a few moments, because the woman reached down and plucked the lighter from her fingers.

“I'm sorry,” the woman said. The words punched through the little opening her cigarette had forced between her upper and bottom teeth. “I don't usually talk to strangers. You just looked like you were thinking. Your face was so full of wonder that I had to ask if I could share in it.” She took a couple puffs of the cigarette and held out her hand, palm up, lighter resting in the center. “I'm Or,” she said.

Mattie took the lighter back and tucked it into her inner jacket pocket. “Mattie,” she said, exhaling a stream of dense white smoke.

“You seem lonely, and strange,” Or said.

“Aye, that I am,” Mattie said, and gave her a small smile.


Fin.
. . .

Audience participation time! Because my reader and I were having a discussion about this, I'm now really curious, so if you would please indulge me:

[Poll #1714234]


This strange little continuation of last week's bit of fiction was written for Topic 16: Open Topic at [livejournal.com profile] therealljidol. Much thanks goes to [livejournal.com profile] kyasuriin for making me think entirely too hard at 1 am. ♥ All comments and questions are welcome.

Date: 2011-03-06 02:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sopdetly.livejournal.com
I am still totally intrigued by this whole world, past, present and future, old men and young women! :D

Date: 2011-03-06 03:51 pm (UTC)
ext_289215: (Doctor Who Eleven ties)
From: [identity profile] momebie.livejournal.com
Why thank you, hon. I need to sit down and map it all. I was telling Kat last night that I think there's a mystery in it somewhere, which will be odd, since I've never written a mystery. New things! Adventure!

Date: 2011-03-07 02:34 pm (UTC)
ext_289215: (Bleach Ulquiorra sword)
From: [identity profile] momebie.livejournal.com
Thank you, that's good to hear. :p

Date: 2011-03-06 11:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amenquohi.livejournal.com
Very nicely done!

Date: 2011-03-07 02:35 pm (UTC)
ext_289215: (Default)
From: [identity profile] momebie.livejournal.com
Thank you!

Date: 2011-03-07 05:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] myrna-bird.livejournal.com
This is definitely still interesting for me. It ended abruptly with your poll but if you write more, I will read.
I love mysteries. There is lots here to expand on...

Date: 2011-03-07 05:33 pm (UTC)
ext_289215: (Default)
From: [identity profile] momebie.livejournal.com
I think there might actually be a mystery here, which will be interesting since I've never written a mystery and am not quite sure how to do it. I think I'm going to have to sit down and look at all of it before I figure out where it's going. I'm kind of glad LJ Idol forced me to push it out, though. I don't think I'd have found it in me otherwise.

Thank you.

Date: 2011-03-08 01:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] myrna-bird.livejournal.com
You're welcome. Keep that good stuff coming!

Date: 2011-03-08 01:00 am (UTC)
tentaclecore: Ghostwire Tokyo (Default)
From: [personal profile] tentaclecore
My curiosity buuuuuuuurnz~! I must read more! You must write more! YUS!

Date: 2011-03-08 02:28 am (UTC)
ext_289215: (Default)
From: [identity profile] momebie.livejournal.com
I am also curious about it! I shall have to see if I can carve some time out this weekend to work on it! I quite like the idea of making it the short story I write for this part of the year. I'm already behind on my writing by like, a LOT, so maybe the tug I feel from this will help.

And thank you, of course, dear. ♥

Date: 2011-03-08 02:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] comedychick.livejournal.com
I was curious about the old man, but not because I wanted more girl lovin' :P

I have read very little so far this week, but when I noted in the topic post you wrote more of this, you had to be one of the first for me to come and make sure I read! And now I want more again!

Date: 2011-03-08 02:31 am (UTC)
ext_289215: (Default)
From: [identity profile] momebie.livejournal.com
My friend was concerned that the connection between the girls and the flashback was too tenuous. I decided to go ahead and throw it up as is because I was hoping the response from you guys would help me figure out which threads to pull when I worked on it in earnest. And you have been helpful.

Thank you, I'm really glad you still find it interesting, even though I did veer off into some strange territory. I'm chuffed you came back to read it on purpose. ♥

Date: 2011-03-08 02:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] comedychick.livejournal.com
I'm not sure, maybe if this was a standalone piece, it could be seen that way, but I'm reading it as something that could easily be put together as a novel, so I think that kind of sidestep thing is a good thing to have when building the story, you know?

Hee, how could I not when I encouraged you so much to write more? :P Would it be weird for me to ask if I can friend you at this point?

Date: 2011-03-08 02:45 am (UTC)
ext_289215: (Default)
From: [identity profile] momebie.livejournal.com
It'll definitely be a longer thing, I just have to decide how long. I'm already working in earnest on a novel and a half. Uh, but I'm just a bit mad and having no time has never stopped me before!

And of course it's not weird! Especially since I find you to be generally lovely and was going to have to break down and ask if I could friend YOU eventually. :p

Date: 2011-03-08 02:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] comedychick.livejournal.com
Hee. I have so many unfinished things it is not even funny, but I would love for you to work on this more!

Aww, thank you! <3 I'm generally shy about asking to friend people, but I really like seeing you around Idol so I figured I should stop being shy for a moment.

Date: 2011-03-08 06:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ecosopher.livejournal.com
Yes, this. I like the Old Man character and because the Diviner's House seems ultimately dangerous and creepy. I feel as if the Old Man could somehow save her from it...

I'm interested to see where you take it!

Date: 2011-03-08 02:31 pm (UTC)
ext_289215: (Default)
From: [identity profile] momebie.livejournal.com
It's certainly creepy, but mostly in the way that big old churches with dark wood paneling can seem creepy to the very young. I haven't decided yet how dangerous it actually is. ;) The Old Man certainly has a part to play in it all.

Thank you!

Date: 2011-03-08 07:40 pm (UTC)
shadowwolf13: (Default)
From: [personal profile] shadowwolf13
I love it! :D Hoping for more next week. :)

Date: 2011-03-09 03:35 pm (UTC)
ext_289215: (MCR Frank :D)
From: [identity profile] momebie.livejournal.com
I have to sit down and look at the story, and see what the prompt is next week. But I can certainly try. Thank you!

Date: 2011-03-09 03:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lawchicky.livejournal.com
Very nice! I hope you continue with this. I'd like to read more about all of these characters.

Date: 2011-03-09 03:36 pm (UTC)
ext_289215: (MCR Frank Hm.)
From: [identity profile] momebie.livejournal.com
I think I'm going to try to work out my next move and see if I can't fit it to this week's prompt. I haven't tried to bend a story to fit a prompt in some time, so it'll be good exercise. Thank you.

Date: 2011-03-09 09:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nyxocity.livejournal.com
I really enjoyed this, but since I didn't see a link to the previous part, I don't feel like I can be very helpful in your poll.

Date: 2011-03-09 09:29 pm (UTC)
ext_289215: (Supernatural Dean facepalm)
From: [identity profile] momebie.livejournal.com
I'm sorry. I think I kind of assumed everyone had read the previous part last week. :p That one's here, if you're curious. (http://momebie.livejournal.com/778936.html) But thank you. I'm glad you liked this bit.

Date: 2011-03-09 09:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nyxocity.livejournal.com
Yeah, I was too busy to read much last week, alas. Thanks for the link! :)

Date: 2011-03-10 06:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] locknkey.livejournal.com
your last choice made me lugh. :)

I enjoyed this -vivid descriptions and tone. I liked the contrast of her seeing herself when young and who she is now.

Date: 2011-03-10 02:52 pm (UTC)
ext_289215: (Default)
From: [identity profile] momebie.livejournal.com
Mission accomplished!

Thank you, I'm glad it was enjoyable.

Date: 2011-03-10 02:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mstrobel.livejournal.com
So glad you've continued this! Loved it and made an easy vote for option two.

Date: 2011-03-10 02:53 pm (UTC)
ext_289215: (Default)
From: [identity profile] momebie.livejournal.com
A vote for option two is a vote for ice cream for everyone! I'm going to need to get more ice cream. >.> Thank you!

Date: 2011-03-10 03:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mstrobel.livejournal.com
Make mine mint choc-chip! ;)

Date: 2011-03-10 09:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] i-17bingo.livejournal.com

“And you're afraid the monsters will get you,” he said, nodding sagely.

I am so getting sucked into this narrative...

Date: 2011-03-14 02:50 pm (UTC)
ext_289215: (Default)
From: [identity profile] momebie.livejournal.com
Thank you! I'm glad it's still interesting to people who aren't me.

Date: 2011-03-11 12:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] joeymichaels.livejournal.com
I'm into the time blending thing. Cool!

Date: 2011-03-14 02:50 pm (UTC)
ext_289215: (Default)
From: [identity profile] momebie.livejournal.com
Non-linear narratives are my favorite things ever. I wish I knew how to quit them. Except not. :p Thank you.

An odd piece...

Date: 2011-03-11 01:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ellakite.livejournal.com
... But I like "odd"!


Re: An odd piece...

Date: 2011-03-14 02:51 pm (UTC)
ext_289215: (Default)
From: [identity profile] momebie.livejournal.com
I also like odd, so I will roll with it! Thank you.

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