Merry Steal a Pagan Holiday Day!!
Dec. 25th, 2006 12:37 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
momebieOMG I'M IN FLORIDA!!! Granted, it's not Orlando, but it's hot and disgustingly humid nonetheless. *wraps self in wet air* Am in 'Dina until tomorrow evening. Will start to RP and reply to things then. Also, will e-mail beta for your fic then ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
cock_a_snook. I can print it off and edit by hand, but I'm not sure I can type notes like that on the parental computer. Will have to see how much hovering is going on.
Also, Cunts (what, we're taking it back!) and Taichou. I want Colorado pictures uploaded sometime in the next century. It's all I ask. :p
And I am squeeing joyfully and frightening the boys. My![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
yuletide recipient liked my story (irg, I can't wait till the reveal so I can post it) and my gift giver wrote an awesome piece on Loki and his dedication to Odin and the feeling of being forgotten. You can find that here at the site. The Goal is the Thing. American Gods fandom, Loki before and during. PG.
I've spent all morning sifting through Count Cain dregs over at the Pit of Voles. I wrote a bit of GodChild last night on the plane, but since I've only read the first volume I wanted to check and make sure it wasn't something that was done to death before I posted it. I still haven't decided whether I want to post it there, or whether it's good enough for SkyeHawke, but I think I'll leave it here for now. At least until I can properly investigate the state of the fandom on LJ and all. Tell me what you think of dear Riff, yeah?
A/N: I know Jess hates first person, but this felt better in first person. And that's unusual enough in itself. It was the way it came out anwyway. Based on one of the stories in GodChild Vol. 1. Is possibly blown out of the water by later canon, since I haven't read any of the others.Though on the Pit of Voles I read murmers of Evil!Riff, which, oooooohhhh...
Riff, on the night he vowed to protect Cain.
~*~
I struggled to pull breath into my lungs. The run from the main house down to the cliffs wasn’t something I had been prepared for, but when I had heard from one of the other servants that Lord Alexis had taken the boy out there it no longer mattered what I might or might not be prepared for.
Lord Alexis had always searched for a son, a figure to take after him and learn from him. It was why he had hired me in the first place. I reminded him of someone. Another of his bastard children no doubt. All the rumours I had ever heard about the Hargreaves family seemed completely founded when I looked in that man’s eyes. It made me feel even sorrier for the one child who was still with him. Cain, the one who wasn’t good enough.
I stumbled and fell, rolling a few feet down the hill before I could stop. When I opened my eyes the stars shone more brightly than I had ever seen them shine. They reached out into the blackness around them. I sat up and clutched at my chest, tried to suck harsh air into lungs bruised by the fall. I could hear shouting through the blood that pounded in my ears. It wasn’t too late then. I pushed myself off the ground and started down the hill again towards the cliffs.
Each breath in and out was a burst of fire, an agony, but it was nothing compared to what Lord Alexis put that boy through on a regular basis. And so I ran, terrified of what I would find when I got there. Of what the Lord had done to his son this time to push the boundaries of love. Of what damage to a fragile boy I’d have to clean up.
The land evened out three hundred yards from the cliff’s edge and the sight of two people in the distance pushed me forward. I sprinted the last hundred yards, unaware of any other pain except that of the boy in my care.
“It’s all your fault!” Lord Alexis shouted as he waved his arms and pointed at the boy. His hair flew about his face and spit flew from his mouth as he ranted. He looked wild, mad. I reached Cain and ran into him, trying to use him as a buffer. I wanted to use him to break my speed and to break up my thoughts. My bruised ribs collided with the scars and fresh wounds on his back and we winced and shuddered as one. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him close to me. If nothing happened to him, if the Lord didn’t touch him, there would be nothing for me to clean up. It would all be okay for one more night. All the soothing words I whispered to Cain while applying salves and bandages would be true, for once. But I underestimated Lord Alexis. I underestimated them both.
The Lord’s eyes widened when he saw me wrapped fiercely around his son. It was one more disappointment to him, I was sure. I was one more person who didn’t measure up. He took a step back toward the cliff face. I should have called out to him, offered some word, but my first priority was and always had been to Cain. Cain, the child who stood so still in my trembling arms that I wasn’t even sure he was breathing. And when Lord Alexis’ final step took him over the edge and I clutched at the boy even tighter, he didn’t make a sound. Cain stared, wide eyed, into the darkness. I never thought to ask what he had been looking for, if anything.
It was I who moved first. I disentangled myself from Cain and took a step back. I realized then that I had been the one shaking in fear and not him. Not the young boy with the golden eyes, the eyes that had never had the opportunity to hold the spark of youth. I watched as he lowered his head and looked back at me. The calm gaze beneath his half closed lids cut through me and reminded me of my place. An exact replica of the look Lord Alexis’ eyes had held whenever I tried to speak out to him on Cain’s behalf. My place, however, didn’t seem nearly as important as it had before. I slowly extended my arm and offered my strength to him if he needed it.
He nodded then, as if something had been decided. He swayed and walked to me unsteadily, not really seeing anything through those wide, fey eyes. He let me drape my arm around him and turn him back toward the house. When I looked down to check my footing on the way back up the hill I noticed that my shirt was criss-crossed in red, blood from Cain’s fresh wounds. And when he looked up at me, the bright light from the stars collected and magnified in those golden eyes. I knew then that it didn’t matter what I did for him. It would never be all right, and as long as that man had ever been a part of this world, nothing would make Cain’s pain stop. But I silently vowed then and there to the stars in those eyes that I would do everything in my power to make sure that nothing else would have the ability to hurt him, not in such a way as his love for his father did, ever again.
~*~
Also, I shouldn't be so surprised that I'm so smitten with GodChild. I mean, it IS Kaori Yuki, and it's got a gothic, Sherlock Holmes feel to it. There's not really anything to not like. You know, except for the fact that I'd need at least $80 to buy the rest of the series RIGHT NOW, and that doesn't even include the Count Cain prequels. I really need to figure out this whole scantalation thing.
ETA- OMG. I just read that latest chapter of Sleepwalker (Samurai Champloo, Jin-centric for those of you not in the know). And I just...guh. Rip my heart out why don't you? *sob*
cock_a_snook. I can print it off and edit by hand, but I'm not sure I can type notes like that on the parental computer. Will have to see how much hovering is going on. Also, Cunts (what, we're taking it back!) and Taichou. I want Colorado pictures uploaded sometime in the next century. It's all I ask. :p
And I am squeeing joyfully and frightening the boys. My
yuletide recipient liked my story (irg, I can't wait till the reveal so I can post it) and my gift giver wrote an awesome piece on Loki and his dedication to Odin and the feeling of being forgotten. You can find that here at the site. The Goal is the Thing. American Gods fandom, Loki before and during. PG.I've spent all morning sifting through Count Cain dregs over at the Pit of Voles. I wrote a bit of GodChild last night on the plane, but since I've only read the first volume I wanted to check and make sure it wasn't something that was done to death before I posted it. I still haven't decided whether I want to post it there, or whether it's good enough for SkyeHawke, but I think I'll leave it here for now. At least until I can properly investigate the state of the fandom on LJ and all. Tell me what you think of dear Riff, yeah?
A/N: I know Jess hates first person, but this felt better in first person. And that's unusual enough in itself. It was the way it came out anwyway. Based on one of the stories in GodChild Vol. 1. Is possibly blown out of the water by later canon, since I haven't read any of the others.
Riff, on the night he vowed to protect Cain.
I struggled to pull breath into my lungs. The run from the main house down to the cliffs wasn’t something I had been prepared for, but when I had heard from one of the other servants that Lord Alexis had taken the boy out there it no longer mattered what I might or might not be prepared for.
Lord Alexis had always searched for a son, a figure to take after him and learn from him. It was why he had hired me in the first place. I reminded him of someone. Another of his bastard children no doubt. All the rumours I had ever heard about the Hargreaves family seemed completely founded when I looked in that man’s eyes. It made me feel even sorrier for the one child who was still with him. Cain, the one who wasn’t good enough.
I stumbled and fell, rolling a few feet down the hill before I could stop. When I opened my eyes the stars shone more brightly than I had ever seen them shine. They reached out into the blackness around them. I sat up and clutched at my chest, tried to suck harsh air into lungs bruised by the fall. I could hear shouting through the blood that pounded in my ears. It wasn’t too late then. I pushed myself off the ground and started down the hill again towards the cliffs.
Each breath in and out was a burst of fire, an agony, but it was nothing compared to what Lord Alexis put that boy through on a regular basis. And so I ran, terrified of what I would find when I got there. Of what the Lord had done to his son this time to push the boundaries of love. Of what damage to a fragile boy I’d have to clean up.
The land evened out three hundred yards from the cliff’s edge and the sight of two people in the distance pushed me forward. I sprinted the last hundred yards, unaware of any other pain except that of the boy in my care.
“It’s all your fault!” Lord Alexis shouted as he waved his arms and pointed at the boy. His hair flew about his face and spit flew from his mouth as he ranted. He looked wild, mad. I reached Cain and ran into him, trying to use him as a buffer. I wanted to use him to break my speed and to break up my thoughts. My bruised ribs collided with the scars and fresh wounds on his back and we winced and shuddered as one. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him close to me. If nothing happened to him, if the Lord didn’t touch him, there would be nothing for me to clean up. It would all be okay for one more night. All the soothing words I whispered to Cain while applying salves and bandages would be true, for once. But I underestimated Lord Alexis. I underestimated them both.
The Lord’s eyes widened when he saw me wrapped fiercely around his son. It was one more disappointment to him, I was sure. I was one more person who didn’t measure up. He took a step back toward the cliff face. I should have called out to him, offered some word, but my first priority was and always had been to Cain. Cain, the child who stood so still in my trembling arms that I wasn’t even sure he was breathing. And when Lord Alexis’ final step took him over the edge and I clutched at the boy even tighter, he didn’t make a sound. Cain stared, wide eyed, into the darkness. I never thought to ask what he had been looking for, if anything.
It was I who moved first. I disentangled myself from Cain and took a step back. I realized then that I had been the one shaking in fear and not him. Not the young boy with the golden eyes, the eyes that had never had the opportunity to hold the spark of youth. I watched as he lowered his head and looked back at me. The calm gaze beneath his half closed lids cut through me and reminded me of my place. An exact replica of the look Lord Alexis’ eyes had held whenever I tried to speak out to him on Cain’s behalf. My place, however, didn’t seem nearly as important as it had before. I slowly extended my arm and offered my strength to him if he needed it.
He nodded then, as if something had been decided. He swayed and walked to me unsteadily, not really seeing anything through those wide, fey eyes. He let me drape my arm around him and turn him back toward the house. When I looked down to check my footing on the way back up the hill I noticed that my shirt was criss-crossed in red, blood from Cain’s fresh wounds. And when he looked up at me, the bright light from the stars collected and magnified in those golden eyes. I knew then that it didn’t matter what I did for him. It would never be all right, and as long as that man had ever been a part of this world, nothing would make Cain’s pain stop. But I silently vowed then and there to the stars in those eyes that I would do everything in my power to make sure that nothing else would have the ability to hurt him, not in such a way as his love for his father did, ever again.
Also, I shouldn't be so surprised that I'm so smitten with GodChild. I mean, it IS Kaori Yuki, and it's got a gothic, Sherlock Holmes feel to it. There's not really anything to not like. You know, except for the fact that I'd need at least $80 to buy the rest of the series RIGHT NOW, and that doesn't even include the Count Cain prequels. I really need to figure out this whole scantalation thing.
ETA- OMG. I just read that latest chapter of Sleepwalker (Samurai Champloo, Jin-centric for those of you not in the know). And I just...guh. Rip my heart out why don't you? *sob*
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