momebie

pre_raphaelite1: *licks your brain*

katilara: eee!

katilara: my brain probably needed that

pre_raphaelite1: it's very dirty

pre_raphaelite1: and tastes of ginger

*blows kisses*

Part deux of birthday happiness. Here is some happy Sirius/James for

kyasuriin.

Title: The Effects of Naked Toast and Goofy Stag Lips
Rating: NC17
Fandom: HP
Characters: Sirius/James (Poor Potter, we really should tie those Black boys up. *snerk*)
Note: Warnings for frottage and boy kissing and unattractive penises. This one is happy and fluffy and stupid in the way that things are when you let James Potter do any talking. Sorry. :p

This is gratuitous, and it wouldn't stop. I would be sorry, if I hadn't enjoyed writing it. *cackles*

“All I’m saying is that I don’t understand how bumpy, skinny boy lips can compare to a pair of lips as beautiful as say, Evans’.”

Sirius scoffed and tossed the towel that had most recently been draped loosely around his hips at James’ head. “Like that fire headed pair of breasts that won’t even speak to you could begin to be as fun. I mean, she doesn’t even have a cock, how’s she supposed to know how to use one?”

“I suppose she practices like the rest of us.” James tossed the towel back at Sirius. “And put this back on before I actually get sick of the sight of penis.”

Sirius reached out and snatched the towel out of the air. He grinned and spread his legs further apart, causing James to grimace. “Is that something you’re actually afraid of, dear Prongsie? Is that why you’re always looking at some tart or another’s breasts whenever you touch yours?”

James snorted. “Penises are not attractive Sirius. If they were, I would be attracted to them.”

Sirius bent over and made one last attempt at his hair with the towel. “So basically, what you’re saying, is that Lily Evans and I have the same taste?” He dropped the towel in the middle of the floor and crossed the room to sit on his bed, cross legged and naked.

James scratched his chin and feigned deep thought. “It’s a possibility. I’ve heard you both go on about that bloody Hufflepuff.”

“It was just because he was helping me with Runes. It’s not like you lot were going to do it.”

“Right…” James drawled.

“What?” Sirius asked, his voice rising. Then he smiled and leaned back, propping himself on his hands. “You’re not the least bit curious?”

“Sirius, I’ve lived in a dorm with you for almost six years now. The sight of you naked doesn’t register any more astonishment than toast.”

“Fair enough. Not liked I’d want your big, goofy stag lips near me anyway. But, I mean, don’t you find any other blokes attractive?”

“What, like you fancy girl bits?”

“Actually…” Sirius turned his head and looked out the window.

James waved his hand dismissively. “Yes, yes, we all know you’re a huge, horny slut. But you still prefer blokes, so that makes you a ponce too.”

“And Mr. James Potter is not a huge, horny slut?” Sirius raised an eyebrow.

“I-“

Sirius nodded solemnly. “Yes, I see.”

James slapped at the bedspread. “You know what I mean.”

“Yes, you mean that you’re afraid to be curious because you might turn into a ponce like me.”

“Primarily the ‘like you’ part, as I wouldn’t have any qualms about being a ponce like Remus.”

“Git,” Sirius said. “Might I remind you that this ponce is still you’re best mate?” He laid down, stretching out on the mattress and tucking his hands behind his head.

“What’s there to be curious about anyway? I know what boys are like. In case you haven’t noticed, I am one.”

“And you make out with yourself regularly?”

“Why would I want some unattractive bugger like me kissing me?”

“You have a point.” They sat in silence. James picked at a piece of string coming out of his comforter and wondered when Sirius’ nakedness had started making his stomach clench.

“Alright, fine, you win.” He ripped the string from the comforter and threw it. “I’m not not curious, I’m just uncomfortable with the whole thing. And it’s not like there’s a line of boys waiting for my big, goofy stag lips either, so don’t tell me it’s as easy as bumping into one.”

Sirius sat up again. “Well, it’s not not that easy.”

James sighed. “It might be for you, but you go looking for it. I don’t need to look for it, I’m perfectly fine pining over Evans. Besides, why does everyone think that a raging loony of a pureblooded inbred is so-. Hey, what are you doing? You-“

Sirius had moved from his bed over to James’. He leaned in and rested his hands on either side of James’ thighs and placed his mouth over the other, closing his eyes. James’ lips were limp at first, while his brain railed against the fact that there was another boy attached to them, but they grew firmer finally and he began to work against Sirius’.

James knew that it had been a chaste kiss by Sirius’ standards. There was no tongue in his mouth, and he didn’t have Sirius’ hand down his trousers. All the same, it made his stomach do somersaults. Sirius pulled his head back and breathed out. James’ eyes were wide open and his mouth was slightly agape.

“James? Are you okay? Was it that bad?” James moved his lips up and down, and then licked them.

“No,” he squeaked. Sirius smiled and moved his head closer so that their noses were touching.

“No?”

“No,” James said again.

Sirius pulled away and flopped down across the bed. “Life as a ponce ain’t so bad, eh?

“Sirius,” James said. “You’re still naked.”

Sirius looked down at his thighs. “Yeah, I guess I am.”

“Sirius.”

“Yeah, James?”

“C-could I try that again? You know, for scientific reasons?”

Sirius laughed and grabbed the back of James’ shirt, pulling him down onto the bed. He propped himself on an elbow and leaned over, placing his lips back against his mate's. His hand fluttered for a moment, unsure, and he finally rested it to the left of James’ head. This time James closed his eyes.

Sirius’ lips were warm, and a little wet. His nose was resting against James’ cheek along with damp hair, and James breathed in the smell of soap and sweat and toothpaste. James made a mental note to always kiss people right after they showered. He reached up and placed a hand on the back of Sirius’ head, tangling his fingers in the hair and squeezing drops of shower water from them, letting it run down his arm. The drops left trails of goose bumps in their wake.

Sirius scooted closer to James on the bed and the skin of James’ arm burned where the skin of Sirius’ chest touched it. This was bad idea. A bad idea! He was kissing his best mate, and his mate’s boyfriend. There was no part of this that was a good idea. And still, as Sirius brought his hand gently to the side of James’ ribcage he knew there wasn’t a part of him that could resist.

He turned his head to the side, breaking the contact of their lips. His breathing was heavy and his stomach had gone from somersaulting to burrowing itself down into his abdomen. Sirius held his breath. “Shite, I’m sorry. I’ll stop, I’ll-“

James shifted so that he could free his arm from its space between his body and Sirius’ chest. Then he rolled towards Sirius and propped himself up on the elbow, scooting as close as he could so that every part of the front of his body touched Sirius. He closed his eyes again and lunged at Sirius’ mouth. It was not graceful, and he bumped their noses.

He could feel Sirius’ erection against his thigh and he could feel his own penis responding. Sirius took his top arm and draped it over James’ side, resting his hand at the small of James’ back and hugging them together. James allowed his own top arm to land on Sirius’ waist and travel up and down from his ribs to his thigh. He enjoyed the mixed feeling the smoothness of the skin and the harshness of the hair. Sirius was right, even if he would never admit it to the git. James might like girls, and even still prefer them, but they were nothing like another boy.

Sirius, still holding them together, began to move up and down on the bed in small motions that pulled at James’ crotch through the cotton of the trousers and pants. His fingers slipped from the small of James’ back and dipped into the waistband of his trousers, fingers hot against the moist skin of James’ thigh. James groaned and Sirius pulled the side of the shirt loose from the trousers. He put his whole hand between the skin and the material, trailing the fingers lightly over James’ skin and then pulling them to the chest and found the nipples.

There was a moment for James where he knew he should turn back. He should have pulled away and run from the room and never let Sirius continue to do that with his nipples between the hot finger tips. But like so many other times that had included Sirius he disregarded what he should have done for the sake of having to know what was going to happen. He had to know what Sirius’ cock would feel like against his own, and brought his hand back to undo his belt and trousers. He shimmied slightly higher on the bed, and Sirius let his hand drift town to catch in the fabric of the pants and pull them down with the trousers, exposing James’ erection.

When the precome hit the air it chilled, and James shivered as the warmth of Sirius’ precome dripped down his cock. It smeared over his stomach and mixed with his own juices. Sirius parted his lips and slid his tongue into James’ mouth as he wrapped his fingers around James’ balls and started to pinch and pull at them.

James felt the groan build in his stomach and chest, and when it finally released into Sirius’ mouth he opened his own mouth wider and bit lightly at Sirius’ lips and cheeks. Sirius slid his hand up and wrapped the fingers around James’ cock. He began to stroke.

James pulled his head back, willing his body not to shake apart, and Sirius leaned in to kiss his neck and shoulder. He scrunched over and put his lips to James’ nipples and began to suck and tug at them lightly with his teeth. James wrapped his own fingers around Sirius’ cock and began to tug at it haltingly.

Sirius groaned into James’ chest and James could feel the quiver of his lips against the sensitive skin surrounding his nipples. His breath became heavier and more erratic. Sirius moved the hand that wasn’t around James’ cock around and started to play with the puckered skin around his anus. Then he stuck one finger up into it. James stopped breathing altogether.

Sirius removed the finger and then pushed it back in. He wriggled it around and pulled on James’ cock one last time. James cried out as he came all over Sirius’ stomach, his stomach, and the comforter. Sirius followed shortly after and they lay on the bed, facing each other and panting into opposite shoulders.

Sirius swallowed heavily, and the sound broke the spell that had worked its way around them. James began to laugh and shake. Sirius watched him, worried, but in the end he had to smile and chuckle too.

“Never,” James panted, “never a ponce like you.”

“Oh yeah?” Sirius said, pulling his finger from James’ anus and wiping it on the sheet.

“Right. Clearly, I’m the Moony, what with his good looks and his inability to stay quiet while you’re doing that.”

Sirius blushed and the apples of his cheeks nearly matched the color of the comforter. “I’ll just use a silencing spell next time, yeah?”

James fell away from Sirius and stared up at the ceiling, feeling the warmth wash through his body. “Yeah. And if Evans ever speaks to me, I’ll do the same.” He grinned at the ceiling.

Sirius cocked an eyebrow and let out a small yelp of a laugh. “Right, Evans,” he said.

```

Between last night and tonight I have officially doubled the amount of smut I've ever written. WHY IS MY BRAIN BEING EATEN NOW!?!

And in case you needed some extra/non gay happiness, funny cat pictures. There's a whole site of them. Tremendous!