momebie: (WS Bucky Awake)
[personal profile] momebie
Original Fiction.
896 words.


This follows pretty immediately after my last LJI two posts. If you missed them Part 1 is here and Part 2 is here.

. . .

They sat in the relative silence for a few moments. Mattie willed the Universe to give her more time and a sharper wit and fewer reservations. The world continued to happen around them in a more or less normal flow. “I don’t believe I’ve seen you around here before,” she said.

Or didn’t answer right away. Mattie appreciated the fact that she was letting the moment hang between them a little longer. She stretched into it. When Or finally answered the words were quiet and halting. “I used to live here, many years ago. I don’t suppose you would remember me. Now I’m back on business.”

“What kind of business brings you to a place like this?”

“I’m investigating a series of disappearances. One of the victims was originally from my jurisdiction, so the local IF have had to let me have the run of the town here. They’re not pleased about it.”

“Most people tend to be distrustful of outsiders.”

“Most people here do,” Or said.

Mattie stood up. She dropped her cigarette onto the ground and stepped on it, squashing out the hot orange tip. She was standing several steps below Or, which made her seem a full head shorter. Or was looking down at her in the same way Mattie’s mother used to look down at her if something in the house had gone broken or missing. The look wasn’t exactly accusatory, but it was curious, probing. It made Mattie uncomfortable. “This person who went missing, who was it? I haven’t seen any notices.”

“No, you haven’t. No one has. I don’t think it’s a person they’re really concerned with finding.”

“Was it a criminal?”

Or considered the question for a moment before she answered. “No. At least, not by our laws. Your city has some rather…interesting ideas about who is a criminal and who isn’t. It’s the only city that still has Idealism on the books as a criminal offense.”

“We do like our traditions.”

“Quite,” Or said. She dropped her cigarette onto the step below and moved down to where Mattie was, just above street level. The butt lay undisturbed, sending up a miniature smoke signal into the darkness.

Mattie quelled the urge to stamp it out. “Am I being interrogated?”

“No, but I wouldn’t mind if you answered some questions.” Or stepped in close and Mattie could almost feel the light from her halo. It made her delirious to think that this soft, gentle light that settled about Or’s cheeks was invisible to its owner. All she wanted to do was reach up and skitter a finger across the curve of Or’s jaw.

Instead she shoved her hands deep into the pockets of her jacket and said, “what kind of questions?”

“Do you remember an old man who used to sit on these steps? One with tattoos that represented the Diviners’ Trials?”

Mattie eyed the doors of the Diviner’s House. “I don’t think this is the place to discuss this.” She was much too old to be dragged into the Head Diviner’s office and whipped for associating with the wrong sort, but that didn’t mean the leaders didn’t have ways of getting to her.

“Your apartment then?”

“That’s forward of you. I assume you have a hotel room of your own, if you really don’t want to discuss it in public.”

Or shrugged. “It’s most likely bugged. Besides,” she stepped closer and Mattie had to force herself to stand her ground. “I know you have some questions you’d like to ask me as well.”

“Why would I have questions for a complete stranger?” Mattie said.

“And here I thought you were a bright girl.” Or stepped down onto the sidewalk and Mattie tried not to shiver at the loss of her light. She stood and looked up at Mattie for a few breaths, but when Mattie didn’t respond she turned and started to walk away.

Mattie watched her go, trying to force the words out. “All right,” she said, unsure of whether or not Or could hear her. “You can come by.”

Or didn’t turn around. “Ta!” she shouted, as she continued her retreat. Mattie watched as one of her red gloves flitted up over her shoulder in a quick gesture of dismissal. Framed against the dark of the street and faintly illuminated by Or’s halo, the color looked ominous. It placed a single welt mark on Mattie’s future.

She took a deep breath and exhaled, trying to calm her nerves. She didn’t know when she’d started gently vibrating, but now she couldn’t get it to stop. She was so preoccupied with cataloguing the various ways in which Or made her uncomfortable that she didn’t hear her waiter friend come up behind her.

“What are you doing out so late?” he said. “You look like you’ve seen another ghost.”

Mattie jumped and let out a short yelp. “Diviner’s Sorrows,” she said. “Don’t sneak up on a girl like that.”

He merely smiled and held out his hand. She pulled hers from her jacket pocket and gripped his fingers tight. More tightly than she’d meant to.

“Hey, hey,” he said. “Remember to breathe. You’re not drowning.”

“I don’t know,” she said. Mattie looked down the sidewalk in the direction Or had gone and imagined she could still see the shadow of her frame. “If I am, will you pull me out?”


This bit of fiction was written for Topic 17: Open Topic at [livejournal.com profile] therealljidol. All comments and questions are welcome.

Date: 2011-03-14 11:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ecosopher.livejournal.com
“Hey, hey,” he said. “Remember to breathe. You’re not drowning.”

“I don’t know,” she said. Mattie looked down the sidewalk in the direction Or had gone and imagined she could still see the shadow of her frame. “If I am, will you pull me out?"


Ooh, I really liked this bit!

I hope you'll write more on this next week...

Date: 2011-03-15 02:47 am (UTC)
admiral: gwendolyn → odin sphere (→ chin up little girl)
From: [personal profile] admiral
ooh, I'm super happy you've been continuing this. :D ♥ It's still so interesting!

Date: 2011-03-15 02:55 am (UTC)
ext_289215: (Default)
From: [identity profile] momebie.livejournal.com
I'm not certain what's going to happen with him, but I think he falls for her a little faster than he means to and just ends up hurt in the end. I really should give him a name if I'm going to fuck him over. :p

Thank you! If I do continue it next week it should have some action.

Date: 2011-03-15 02:56 am (UTC)
ext_289215: (Yellow gun)
From: [identity profile] momebie.livejournal.com
The next bit should have some actual action! Enough talking! More making out and unearthing elaborate cover up schemes and like, guns!

Date: 2011-03-15 03:03 am (UTC)
admiral: gwendolyn → odin sphere (→ nyoro~n)
From: [personal profile] admiral
Though I am not adverse to talking, all of that sounds fabulous~

Date: 2011-03-15 03:06 am (UTC)
ext_289215: (Cillian)
From: [identity profile] momebie.livejournal.com
I quite like talking. People have to remind me that that's not what stories are all about. :p

Apropos to nothing really, if I do have a gun, you can be sure it will look like this (http://collect-your-courage.tumblr.com/post/3866295471).

Date: 2011-03-15 03:15 am (UTC)
admiral: gwendolyn → odin sphere (→ now what are we doing?)
From: [personal profile] admiral
Pfft like 90% of anything I write is dialogue and the other 10% is action the characters are doing while talking. orz

ohmygoodness, that looks lovely. Pretty guns are so neat.

Date: 2011-03-15 03:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sopdetly.livejournal.com
(Just a note to say that I fully plan to read and comment when I have a chance and my brain is not fried!)

Date: 2011-03-15 03:25 am (UTC)
ext_289215: (Goop Twins!)
From: [identity profile] momebie.livejournal.com
I plan to do your OYTAWL challenge when I have a chance and MY brain is not muddled! We're even!

Date: 2011-03-15 01:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ecosopher.livejournal.com
Oh, definitely. Without a name, he won't suffer enough!

Date: 2011-03-16 12:13 am (UTC)
tentaclecore: Ghostwire Tokyo (Default)
From: [personal profile] tentaclecore
THE PLOT THICKENS! Or smth like that :DDDDD But I love how this is progressing, and I can't wait to see how it goes.

I ADORE this line: All she wanted to do was reach up and skitter a finger across the curve of Or’s jaw. For some odd reason, it just makes the entire confrontation between the two for me.

Date: 2011-03-16 01:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sopdetly.livejournal.com
I'd gone into this without refreshing from the last bit, and I forgot the other woman's name was Or, so that first sentence that starts with her name I kept reading wrong and getting confused. :P Maybe my brain is more fried than I thought!

Other than bit of reader!fail there, this story continues to intrigue and keep me wanting more. I am jealous of your braaains. :D

Date: 2011-03-17 12:26 am (UTC)
ext_289215: (architect amelia)
From: [identity profile] momebie.livejournal.com
SO THICK. LIKE FLOUR IN SOUP. At least I have an idea of where to go if I make it. Or even if I don't. I'm pretty much set on seeing this through regardless.

Holding back is pretty much what she's been doing her whole life. That is so going to change.

Date: 2011-03-17 12:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] faerie-spark.livejournal.com
MMM, mysterious. Love the ending. The first paragraph also gives me shivers.

Date: 2011-03-17 02:26 pm (UTC)
ext_289215: (Doctor Who Eleven arms open)
From: [identity profile] momebie.livejournal.com
That first sentence actually threw me off SEVERAL TIMES. So you're not alone there. I had green squiggles under sentences ALL OVER THE PLACE. When I work this into something more substantial I'm going to have to pay close attention to that. Or give her a less confusing name. As my friend Stevie said: And you can't even change it to Bob and then find and replace, Bob all your sentences will sound funny.

I'm glad it's staying interesting for people. That's the hardest part, sometimes. (I feel like I say that about everything. The truth is EVERYTHING is the hardest part for me. Being out of bed is a bitch.) And I will totally lend you my braaaaaaains! As long as you promise not to feed them to a zombie. I wouldn't mind the reprieve.

Date: 2011-03-17 02:28 pm (UTC)
ext_289215: (Default)
From: [identity profile] momebie.livejournal.com
Thank you. I'm glad there are bits that are still working. ♥

Date: 2011-03-17 06:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] i-17bingo.livejournal.com
I feel interrogated and intimidated by Or just reading this, and she's just made out of words. Poor Mattie...

Date: 2011-03-17 08:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lawchicky.livejournal.com
I like this a lot. I'm glad you continued with this story.

Date: 2011-03-17 09:22 pm (UTC)
ext_289215: (Default)
From: [identity profile] momebie.livejournal.com
Mattie'll be okay. More or less. Though there's only more to go before she sleeps, as the saying goes. She's spent her whole life refraining from engaging in things. She's going to have to learn otherwise.

Thank you.

Date: 2011-03-17 09:23 pm (UTC)
ext_289215: (Bleach i <3 nerds)
From: [identity profile] momebie.livejournal.com
Thank you. I'm liking figuring it out as I go, since it's pretty much the opposite of how I usually write things. I blame you guys. ♥

Date: 2011-03-18 03:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] java-fiend.livejournal.com
I'm really glad you're continuing this storyline. It's a very good read and I'm enjoying it a lot. Nicely done!

Date: 2011-03-18 04:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ellakite.livejournal.com
I can't wait to see what happens next...

Date: 2011-03-18 05:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] comedychick.livejournal.com
Love! I'm really enjoying how much depth you add to each instalment of this! Can't wait for more :D

Date: 2011-03-18 02:02 pm (UTC)
ext_289215: (Default)
From: [identity profile] momebie.livejournal.com
I'm enjoying writing it, so I'm glad other people are enjoying it as well. It's very different from the things I usually write and the way I usually write, which has been kind of freeing, really. Thank you.

Date: 2011-03-18 02:03 pm (UTC)
ext_289215: (Default)
From: [identity profile] momebie.livejournal.com
Next there will be action! I wanted to try to get it into this one, but it would have been too long and the flow would have been wonky. So thank you for liking this quiet bit, I promise excitement in the near future.

Date: 2011-03-18 02:04 pm (UTC)
ext_289215: (Cowboy Bebope Spike/Julia)
From: [identity profile] momebie.livejournal.com
Thank you! I'm glad you're enjoying it. I've pretty much decided to go on with it some even if I am voted out. I'm enjoying it too much.

Date: 2011-03-18 02:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mstrobel.livejournal.com
Oh wow, yes :D now more? That was an awesome read!

Date: 2011-03-18 05:42 pm (UTC)
ext_289215: (Cowboy Bebop kick ass woman)
From: [identity profile] momebie.livejournal.com
If I can make it through this week there will totally be more! I've kind of forsaken everything else, I'm enjoying this so much.

Thank you. ♥

Date: 2011-03-18 08:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] basric.livejournal.com
Excellent writing. I love it.

Date: 2011-03-18 10:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] comedychick.livejournal.com
Eeeee. So excited! I don't think I could do that myself. I'm too afraid of having people not interested in following ;) I do want to write another installment of my pirate screenplay, though.

Date: 2011-03-19 03:34 am (UTC)
ext_289215: (MCR Gee red)
From: [identity profile] momebie.livejournal.com
Thank you muchly. ♥

Date: 2011-03-19 01:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] roina-arwen.livejournal.com
Very intriguing - I'd love to read more.

Date: 2011-03-25 01:25 pm (UTC)
ext_289215: (Default)
From: [identity profile] momebie.livejournal.com
Thank you! (Late comment is late. I'm glad you're enjoying it.)

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