momebie: (Angel Sanctuary Lucifer)
momebie ([personal profile] momebie) wrote2011-01-21 10:54 pm

He spends four evenings just standing at the window and looking up into the night sky.

Original Fiction.
290 words.


It's always the love that does Them
in. How unlike humans They are,
is what They tell Themselves in Their day
to day business. And They're right. They are
as unlike humans as a thing can get.

Humans are made out of clay. Out of necessity
their minds and bodies are malleable.
They need things. Greed. Fear. Lust
for a more permanent state of being. Time pushes
them along, pulls the strings in a way that God does not
care to do. His wisdom is in distraction.

They are made of fire. They burn
and hurtle through empty space, even as They are
standing still. They do not make Themselves known
to the humans because the humans already know too much.
The humans know of the Morning Star who forsake them.

Burning. Bringing light, They climb in His estimation.
They claw against each Other, dodging the human
emotions that are strewn about the cutting room floor.
They rise, until all that's left to reach for is love.
The one thing to which They are not immune.

He made it in Their image and, not knowing what to do
with it They let it weigh them down. They come crashing
back again, feathers singed with tar. They feel it this time.
They crawl. They carve out a place for themselves in the world.
In having a place they suddenly have bodies. Suddenly Are.

Being is too much. They reach up again, jump, scramble
for purpose. When They look at the stars They look on
them with the love that They can't clean off. It sticks
to everything and reminds Them that They have bodies.
The stars don't. The stars merely burn. But They—

are through with burning.


Ugh. I am so fucking nervous about this. You never learn unless you try though, right? I'm blaming it partially on [livejournal.com profile] pocky_slash, who threw out the writing chat prompt that generated the ficlet that turned into this. This entry was written for Topic 10: Icarus at [livejournal.com profile] therealljidol. All comments and questions are welcome.

[identity profile] meridianrising.livejournal.com 2011-01-22 04:06 am (UTC)(link)
i LOVE this so much! Seriously, don't know why you are nervous...i'm in awe of your words! ♥

[identity profile] belgatherial.livejournal.com 2011-01-22 04:07 am (UTC)(link)
I really enjoyed this. Gamble worked, in my opinion. ;)
admiral: gwendolyn → odin sphere (→ ilu too)

[personal profile] admiral 2011-01-22 04:25 am (UTC)(link)
Ooh, that was lovely! You shouldn't be nervous at all. :D

[identity profile] matthewbowers.livejournal.com 2011-01-22 04:35 am (UTC)(link)
This is pretty awesome! Love the imagery.

[identity profile] kyasuriin.livejournal.com 2011-01-22 04:57 am (UTC)(link)
♥ _______ ♥

srsly. in love.
tentaclecore: Ghostwire Tokyo (Default)

[personal profile] tentaclecore 2011-01-22 05:03 am (UTC)(link)
This seriously reads like something from a publication full of Eliot and Cummings, et al. Brava, hon! Excellent work ♥

[identity profile] laetificat.livejournal.com 2011-01-22 05:15 am (UTC)(link)
That's really great.

[identity profile] basric.livejournal.com 2011-01-22 06:09 am (UTC)(link)
You have a beautiful way with words. Beautifully written.

[identity profile] seratonation.livejournal.com 2011-01-22 09:16 am (UTC)(link)
you have nothing to be nervous about! that was beautiful! and it gets better with every read through (lol coz i am not used to reading poems)
theemdash: (Steampunk Gerard)

[personal profile] theemdash 2011-01-22 12:53 pm (UTC)(link)
I will admit, I wasn't fully on board through the first two stanzas, but by the final stanzas I wanted to subscribe to your newsletter. I actually think me not being fully on board was good, because you actually took me on the falling with them.

(Poetry is terrifying.)

[identity profile] canellaphile.livejournal.com 2011-01-23 06:08 am (UTC)(link)
I kinda sorta LOVED THIS A LOT.

[identity profile] redvelvetgrrl.livejournal.com 2011-01-24 12:40 am (UTC)(link)
Very beautifully written. I'm glad you put it out there for us to read!

[identity profile] similiesslip.livejournal.com 2011-01-24 05:54 am (UTC)(link)
Oh my goodness, this was lovely! Brought tears to my eyes.

I especially liked these lines:

He made it in Their image and, not knowing what to do
with it They let it weigh them down. They come crashing
back again, feathers singed with tar. They feel it this time.

Wow!

[identity profile] locknkey.livejournal.com 2011-01-24 06:09 am (UTC)(link)
I don't have any deep comments, but I do know that this is something I will keep thinking about and trying to figure out. On initial read i find it interesting that what sticks with me rather than the Icarus metaphor is that when weihged down by love - something humans exalt - they become closer to something they consider beneath them. *ponders*

[identity profile] earlofcardigans.livejournal.com 2011-01-24 08:55 pm (UTC)(link)
oh honey. I know you were having a terrifying time of the poetry, but this was actually really well done and it still sounded like you and still had such a purpose.

Everyday you write something is another day that I'm excited to be your friend.

[identity profile] michikatinski.livejournal.com 2011-01-25 03:58 am (UTC)(link)
I think your poem is awesome, I think there should be more poetry in LJ Idol, and I'm definitely throwing in my vote for you. The vote is as much for your bravery in putting your passion out there as it is for your skill in writing. Kudos on both counts!!!

[identity profile] sweeny-todd.livejournal.com 2011-01-25 06:26 am (UTC)(link)
this was great to read.

[identity profile] imafarmgirl.livejournal.com 2011-01-25 01:13 pm (UTC)(link)
I like it but I'm confused as to who "they" are?