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Oh how I'd love to be in that number.
Original fiction.
795 words.
Diary excerpts relating to a certain preoccupation held by Private First Class Aed ______ prior to his change in field duty.
Psychological treatment requested by Dr. Whitman Farrar.
Cataloged by Mille Ernst, psychiatric assistant.
Feb 13, 2066 – 13:45
I have been assigned a new bunk mate. It's been nearly a month that I've been on my own, and I've gotten used to being left to my idiosyncrasies, so I regret that you seem to have found someone who doesn't know of my reputation. He's barely more than a child, so it's no wonder I had a dream about shooting him. You will no doubt try to analyze my subconscious’s motives in this choice of scenario, but I don't really feel there is anything to find by doing that. A dream is merely a thing of great inconsequence. The thing I find most puzzling about the dream was the snow. It was fresh and new. All snow here turns to muddy slush within hours.
Feb 27, 2066 – 09:10
R____'s foot locker is a disaster. He has failed inspection five times since he arrived. He talks incessantly. I do not see the wisdom that wishes to treat my so-called sociopathic tendencies by essentially leaving me in the charge of a pet. If it will end this experiment quickly I will share with you that from the ages of seven through sixteen every pet I was given care of ended up dead within a month. I will indulge your scenario for another week before I appeal to the Military Medical Board for a ruling of DTO.
I also do not see the wisdom in taking down these mundane occurrences.
Mar 15, 2066 – 01:00
R____ laughs too loudly. He draws attention to himself that I find to be a hindrance to the operation of our unit.
Mar 16, 2066 – 12:35
I have noted in R____ a tendency to misplace affection. He appears to be blissfully unaware of the fact that in most cases, the bigger the smile, the sharper the knife. She has a very wide smile. If she ever turns it on me, I will slit her throat.
April 1, 2066 – 00:13
This evening he asked me if I thought the means with which the military explored new technology needed to be justified in the end. I told him that if I had wanted to fritter away my time pondering irrelevancies I would have become a philosopher and not a soldier.
April 4, 2066 – 15:00
He disappeared yesterday evening after dinner. When he returned he was visibly shaken. I did not ask about the business he had so urgently needed to attend to and he did not offer up any information.
April 10, 2066 – 07:45
R____ has not laughed in days. It's a strange bit of information that weighs on my thoughts. I used to think him foolish, now to think of him at all is confusing. I hate everything about him, and yet I feel a certain jealousy when I see the two of them together. Her talk of Change is distracting and dangerous. Soldiers should be solutions, not catalysts. All the same, I find I admire his naivete, even as I condemn him for it.
April 30, 2066 – 03:30
I dreamt that we fit together like two pieces broken from the same statue. When I awoke it was the act of breaking off that stuck with me.
May 5, 2066 – 18:12
By now you will no doubt have heard what happened.
June 8, 2066 – 23:40
I took her from him, just as she had taken him from me. She would not tell me what it was that she had him steal from our base that night he went AWOL. She would not admit that she had coerced him into throwing away his future. She would not concede that the military has a responsibility to control the people for the good of the people.
I killed her with her own knife and then wiped it off on her jacket. I'm keeping the blade as a souvenir.
July 4, 2066 – 07:00
It has been nearly two months that I've been on my own. I sometimes wake in the night, feeling his hands on me, roughly shaking me. Demanding that I come with him. In my mind I've told him to leave a hundred times. To get out and never come back. Last night I had a dream that I shot him. The snow was crisp and new and the blood congealed in it. The thing that bothers me the most about it was the surprise in his eyes. It shouldn't have been a surprise that I would shoot a traitor, and he knows my reputation.
This entry was written for Topic 9: Marching Orders at![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
therealljidol. All comments and questions are welcome.
795 words.
Diary excerpts relating to a certain preoccupation held by Private First Class Aed ______ prior to his change in field duty.
Psychological treatment requested by Dr. Whitman Farrar.
Cataloged by Mille Ernst, psychiatric assistant.
Feb 13, 2066 – 13:45
I have been assigned a new bunk mate. It's been nearly a month that I've been on my own, and I've gotten used to being left to my idiosyncrasies, so I regret that you seem to have found someone who doesn't know of my reputation. He's barely more than a child, so it's no wonder I had a dream about shooting him. You will no doubt try to analyze my subconscious’s motives in this choice of scenario, but I don't really feel there is anything to find by doing that. A dream is merely a thing of great inconsequence. The thing I find most puzzling about the dream was the snow. It was fresh and new. All snow here turns to muddy slush within hours.
Feb 27, 2066 – 09:10
R____'s foot locker is a disaster. He has failed inspection five times since he arrived. He talks incessantly. I do not see the wisdom that wishes to treat my so-called sociopathic tendencies by essentially leaving me in the charge of a pet. If it will end this experiment quickly I will share with you that from the ages of seven through sixteen every pet I was given care of ended up dead within a month. I will indulge your scenario for another week before I appeal to the Military Medical Board for a ruling of DTO.
I also do not see the wisdom in taking down these mundane occurrences.
Mar 15, 2066 – 01:00
R____ laughs too loudly. He draws attention to himself that I find to be a hindrance to the operation of our unit.
Mar 16, 2066 – 12:35
I have noted in R____ a tendency to misplace affection. He appears to be blissfully unaware of the fact that in most cases, the bigger the smile, the sharper the knife. She has a very wide smile. If she ever turns it on me, I will slit her throat.
April 1, 2066 – 00:13
This evening he asked me if I thought the means with which the military explored new technology needed to be justified in the end. I told him that if I had wanted to fritter away my time pondering irrelevancies I would have become a philosopher and not a soldier.
April 4, 2066 – 15:00
He disappeared yesterday evening after dinner. When he returned he was visibly shaken. I did not ask about the business he had so urgently needed to attend to and he did not offer up any information.
April 10, 2066 – 07:45
R____ has not laughed in days. It's a strange bit of information that weighs on my thoughts. I used to think him foolish, now to think of him at all is confusing. I hate everything about him, and yet I feel a certain jealousy when I see the two of them together. Her talk of Change is distracting and dangerous. Soldiers should be solutions, not catalysts. All the same, I find I admire his naivete, even as I condemn him for it.
April 30, 2066 – 03:30
I dreamt that we fit together like two pieces broken from the same statue. When I awoke it was the act of breaking off that stuck with me.
May 5, 2066 – 18:12
By now you will no doubt have heard what happened.
June 8, 2066 – 23:40
I took her from him, just as she had taken him from me. She would not tell me what it was that she had him steal from our base that night he went AWOL. She would not admit that she had coerced him into throwing away his future. She would not concede that the military has a responsibility to control the people for the good of the people.
I killed her with her own knife and then wiped it off on her jacket. I'm keeping the blade as a souvenir.
July 4, 2066 – 07:00
It has been nearly two months that I've been on my own. I sometimes wake in the night, feeling his hands on me, roughly shaking me. Demanding that I come with him. In my mind I've told him to leave a hundred times. To get out and never come back. Last night I had a dream that I shot him. The snow was crisp and new and the blood congealed in it. The thing that bothers me the most about it was the surprise in his eyes. It shouldn't have been a surprise that I would shoot a traitor, and he knows my reputation.
This entry was written for Topic 9: Marching Orders at
therealljidol. All comments and questions are welcome.
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Brilliantly done, lovely.
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I really cannot wait to read more of this story in an organized manner. If you ever want to grab a coffee and work out plot issues or just tell me about it, consider it an open date.
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But thank you.
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