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but you well understand, it takes a steady hand to navigate adulterous waters
Why do I like this song so much? Jeez. One of the most cacophonous bands EVER.
Holy fucking hell guys. Divide and Conquer got 166 views (not REviews, just people clicking on it) in a day and a half at the Pit of Voles. I mean, not that I don't have things up there with more views, but that's a lot of people in a short amount of time. That almost rivals when I used to post things on![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
remusxsirius. Hehe. That's it. I'm only writing Ouran from now on!
Ok, I'm lying. I'll probably continue to write fic about minor characters in minor spin offs of series (Kai Lucas from the Cain Kuga-verse Bebop spin offs, for example) that no one will ever look at. But to heck with it, it's what maintains my interest through my ADD. :p
Worked with a new kid in balloons today. I'm not sure how old he is, but I know he's not in high school any more. This is a major plus for balloonies, as they're all usually 16. (All of the artists are around my age.) He was pretty cool though, if not kind of odd. He asked me not to swear, not because he's opposed to swearing, but because he said it didn't fit me. And then, while I was tinkering with the NNoD on break he asked me about it and tried to convince me to write him into the story. (Somehow, explaining to him that Heeden didn't really love anyone and Aed was gay did not disuade him. And then his character became a tattoo artist somehow. I didn't have the heart to tell him that those tattoos were done in a research lab. Heh.) So yes, apparently, after 3 hours, he knows me better than me. But he seems kind of cool, so I hope we'll get to work together again.
I was doing this foranime_flash (challenge 2B - World Domination), but it got too long. I kind of like it, but I don't see it ever growing into a real fic because KT's characters give me a headache. And it's not that I don't love some of them (OMGKAIEN!!), I just can't get inside of them the way I do other characters. So it will just stay a lonely baby, with no real place to post it. Hehe. Poor thing. Done mostly because I wanted to tell Ichigo to stop being A GIRL during 115. And then Rukia did, thank god. But here, Renji gets to. ;) Partially betaed, as in, I fixed things when I transferred it.
...
Title: In the End: A Dream
Rating: PG13 probably
Characters: Ichigo, Renji
Ichigo leaned against the wall of the shower, palms flat against the tiles. Water ran down his bowed head and neck and washed over his back. The spray from the shower head was hot, but he could still feel the sting where it hit his skin. It wasn’t hot enough.
He wanted to forget, he wanted to break down. It was all too heavy. The look in Rukia’s eyes, the expectations of the Gotei 13, the weight of the hollow inside of him as it fought to be free. He didn’t want any of it anymore, and he thought that maybe if the water could get just a little hotter, if it was so hot he didn’t feel it on his skin anymore, that it could wash the weight away like blood down a drain.
He lifted his head to see large hands cover his own, and he could feel the wet cloth of a shirt bowing down onto his lower back under the weight of the water. Something shifted on his shoulder and there was a spill of brilliant, dark red hair. He grimaced and wished that that too would wash away.
“You idiot,” Renji growled into his ear. “You didn’t even hear me coming.”
Ichigo could feel the heart of Renji’s gigai as it beat somewhere over his left shoulder blade, and Renji’s breath had managed to become hotter than the water. Maybe, maybe that would do. Maybe that could cleanse. “Maybe I did, maybe I let you come,” he said to the shower head.
Renji snorted. “Liar,” he said, and pressed closer to Ichigo. His chest covered Ichigo’s back and damned the wash of water so that it broke at his shoulders and spilled down his sides. A million wet fingers caressed him endlessly and Ichigo cursed it for being pleasant, arousing even. “Since when do you lie?”
It was Ichigo’s turn to snort. “I always have.”
“You’ve never said you were going to do something you didn’t later accomplish,” Renji said quietly. His voice was empty of the brashness it usually carried, was devoid of all emotion. Ichigo suddenly felt the urge to apologize to him like he had to Orihime.
“I didn’t kill Grand Fisher,” was what he said instead.
“So,” Renji said. “He’s dead, that’s all that matters. You didn’t really get the chance.”
“Hmm,” Ichigo grunted. He pushed against the wall and flexed the muscles in his back, trying to push Renji away from him. He wanted to be left alone, and he didn’t even know why the great idiot was here in the first place.
Renji pushed back and caused Ichigo to slip forward. Renji caught him with an arm around the waist and leaned forward so that his chin rested on Ichigo’s shoulder. “Is this how battles are won now,” he hissed. “By indulging in fear?”
“Shut up!” Ichigo tried to pull free, but only succeeded in wriggling closer to Renji. The ridiculous muscles that stretched the wet sleeves of that ridiculous school uniform shirt were obscene, and Ichigo wasn’t a match for them. “You don’t,” he gasped. “I can’t-“
“I don’t understand?” Renji laughed, low in the back of his throat, and the hairs on the base of Ichigo’s neck stood up. “You really are an idiot. But you’re the worst kind of idiot, a brave idiot. You, always running in without thinking and cutting down everything in your path. I’ve seen you do it. I’ve helped you do it. So why are here now, cowering in the goddamned shower?”
Ichigo said nothing.
“You know what? You’re right,” Renji splayed his hand open where it held Ichigo’s stomach. The fingers stretched across Ichigo’s skin and caused more pain than the water had in the beginning. Ichigo felt like Renji was branding him. He hoped it would leave a mark. He came away from too many confrontations with scratches that healed and confusion that scabbed over. He wanted something permanent to remind him of what could be lost.
“You won’t defeat Aizen,” Renji said. “You won’t conquer Hueco Mundo, you won’t even dominate the hollow within yourself. You won’t because you don’t want to, and you won’t because you can’t even dominate me.” Teeth scraped against Ichigo’s shoulder and he shuddered and groaned. Yes. Something he deserved. “Congratulations, you’re no longer the worst kind of idiot. Now you’re just pathetic.”
“Go the fuck away,” he snarled, but he didn’t move.
Renji used his other hand to grab Ichigo’s shoulder. Ichigo hissed as ragged nails dug into his skin. “Make me,” he said. The emotion had suddenly flooded back into his voice; anger and fear and superiority. He slammed Ichigo sideways into the tiled wall of the shower.
On impact, everything went black.
~*~
He doesn’t remember falling asleep, but when he wakes the water is cold, and he shivers as he reaches forward to turn it off. He dries off slowly and methodically pulls on his clothing, trying to think of the right things to say to the six shinigami in his bedroom. The hollow laughs and he looks at his face in the mirror, eyebrows furrowed, jaw set in determination. Keep laughing, he tells the hollow, because in the end, it’s only me.
...
WTF guys!?! The thermostat is on HEAT and 80* and it just keeps getting COLDER in the apartment! 56* is TOO cold for a residence. I'm going to go to bed and sleep under my four blankets. *shivers*
Holy fucking hell guys. Divide and Conquer got 166 views (not REviews, just people clicking on it) in a day and a half at the Pit of Voles. I mean, not that I don't have things up there with more views, but that's a lot of people in a short amount of time. That almost rivals when I used to post things on
remusxsirius. Hehe. That's it. I'm only writing Ouran from now on! Ok, I'm lying. I'll probably continue to write fic about minor characters in minor spin offs of series (Kai Lucas from the Cain Kuga-verse Bebop spin offs, for example) that no one will ever look at. But to heck with it, it's what maintains my interest through my ADD. :p
Worked with a new kid in balloons today. I'm not sure how old he is, but I know he's not in high school any more. This is a major plus for balloonies, as they're all usually 16. (All of the artists are around my age.) He was pretty cool though, if not kind of odd. He asked me not to swear, not because he's opposed to swearing, but because he said it didn't fit me. And then, while I was tinkering with the NNoD on break he asked me about it and tried to convince me to write him into the story. (Somehow, explaining to him that Heeden didn't really love anyone and Aed was gay did not disuade him. And then his character became a tattoo artist somehow. I didn't have the heart to tell him that those tattoos were done in a research lab. Heh.) So yes, apparently, after 3 hours, he knows me better than me. But he seems kind of cool, so I hope we'll get to work together again.
I was doing this for
anime_flash (challenge 2B - World Domination), but it got too long. I kind of like it, but I don't see it ever growing into a real fic because KT's characters give me a headache. And it's not that I don't love some of them (OMGKAIEN!!), I just can't get inside of them the way I do other characters. So it will just stay a lonely baby, with no real place to post it. Hehe. Poor thing. Done mostly because I wanted to tell Ichigo to stop being A GIRL during 115. And then Rukia did, thank god. But here, Renji gets to. ;) Partially betaed, as in, I fixed things when I transferred it. ...
Title: In the End: A Dream
Rating: PG13 probably
Characters: Ichigo, Renji
Ichigo leaned against the wall of the shower, palms flat against the tiles. Water ran down his bowed head and neck and washed over his back. The spray from the shower head was hot, but he could still feel the sting where it hit his skin. It wasn’t hot enough.
He wanted to forget, he wanted to break down. It was all too heavy. The look in Rukia’s eyes, the expectations of the Gotei 13, the weight of the hollow inside of him as it fought to be free. He didn’t want any of it anymore, and he thought that maybe if the water could get just a little hotter, if it was so hot he didn’t feel it on his skin anymore, that it could wash the weight away like blood down a drain.
He lifted his head to see large hands cover his own, and he could feel the wet cloth of a shirt bowing down onto his lower back under the weight of the water. Something shifted on his shoulder and there was a spill of brilliant, dark red hair. He grimaced and wished that that too would wash away.
“You idiot,” Renji growled into his ear. “You didn’t even hear me coming.”
Ichigo could feel the heart of Renji’s gigai as it beat somewhere over his left shoulder blade, and Renji’s breath had managed to become hotter than the water. Maybe, maybe that would do. Maybe that could cleanse. “Maybe I did, maybe I let you come,” he said to the shower head.
Renji snorted. “Liar,” he said, and pressed closer to Ichigo. His chest covered Ichigo’s back and damned the wash of water so that it broke at his shoulders and spilled down his sides. A million wet fingers caressed him endlessly and Ichigo cursed it for being pleasant, arousing even. “Since when do you lie?”
It was Ichigo’s turn to snort. “I always have.”
“You’ve never said you were going to do something you didn’t later accomplish,” Renji said quietly. His voice was empty of the brashness it usually carried, was devoid of all emotion. Ichigo suddenly felt the urge to apologize to him like he had to Orihime.
“I didn’t kill Grand Fisher,” was what he said instead.
“So,” Renji said. “He’s dead, that’s all that matters. You didn’t really get the chance.”
“Hmm,” Ichigo grunted. He pushed against the wall and flexed the muscles in his back, trying to push Renji away from him. He wanted to be left alone, and he didn’t even know why the great idiot was here in the first place.
Renji pushed back and caused Ichigo to slip forward. Renji caught him with an arm around the waist and leaned forward so that his chin rested on Ichigo’s shoulder. “Is this how battles are won now,” he hissed. “By indulging in fear?”
“Shut up!” Ichigo tried to pull free, but only succeeded in wriggling closer to Renji. The ridiculous muscles that stretched the wet sleeves of that ridiculous school uniform shirt were obscene, and Ichigo wasn’t a match for them. “You don’t,” he gasped. “I can’t-“
“I don’t understand?” Renji laughed, low in the back of his throat, and the hairs on the base of Ichigo’s neck stood up. “You really are an idiot. But you’re the worst kind of idiot, a brave idiot. You, always running in without thinking and cutting down everything in your path. I’ve seen you do it. I’ve helped you do it. So why are here now, cowering in the goddamned shower?”
Ichigo said nothing.
“You know what? You’re right,” Renji splayed his hand open where it held Ichigo’s stomach. The fingers stretched across Ichigo’s skin and caused more pain than the water had in the beginning. Ichigo felt like Renji was branding him. He hoped it would leave a mark. He came away from too many confrontations with scratches that healed and confusion that scabbed over. He wanted something permanent to remind him of what could be lost.
“You won’t defeat Aizen,” Renji said. “You won’t conquer Hueco Mundo, you won’t even dominate the hollow within yourself. You won’t because you don’t want to, and you won’t because you can’t even dominate me.” Teeth scraped against Ichigo’s shoulder and he shuddered and groaned. Yes. Something he deserved. “Congratulations, you’re no longer the worst kind of idiot. Now you’re just pathetic.”
“Go the fuck away,” he snarled, but he didn’t move.
Renji used his other hand to grab Ichigo’s shoulder. Ichigo hissed as ragged nails dug into his skin. “Make me,” he said. The emotion had suddenly flooded back into his voice; anger and fear and superiority. He slammed Ichigo sideways into the tiled wall of the shower.
On impact, everything went black.
He doesn’t remember falling asleep, but when he wakes the water is cold, and he shivers as he reaches forward to turn it off. He dries off slowly and methodically pulls on his clothing, trying to think of the right things to say to the six shinigami in his bedroom. The hollow laughs and he looks at his face in the mirror, eyebrows furrowed, jaw set in determination. Keep laughing, he tells the hollow, because in the end, it’s only me.
...
WTF guys!?! The thermostat is on HEAT and 80* and it just keeps getting COLDER in the apartment! 56* is TOO cold for a residence. I'm going to go to bed and sleep under my four blankets. *shivers*