Fic Post!

[momebie]

When I'm all moved in, I may actually start writing again. Hmm...


Title: Moon Gazing
Author: katilara
Ratings: G
Pairings/Characters: R/S, Ickle Harry
Summary: Harry learns that Remus never watches the moon with him and Sirius because of his lycanthropy. He decides that he's going to be the one to cure it.
Disclaimer: All characters belong to JK Rowling, that lucky, lucky duck.
A/N: marilla82 may in fact own my soul. But that's neither here nor there since she's also a great beta. :p Written for the Raising Harry ficathon, so it's AU. Sorry I didn't mention that before.



“Sirius, how come Remus never comes to watch the moon with us?” Sirius and Harry were lying in the grass, legs splayed, arms behind their heads. They were looking up at the sky like they did every month on the full moon. It had become a ritual Sirius started when Harry was old enough to walk, to take him down to the park and conveniently slip out the apartment that was full of the missing presence of Remus. It was much easier for Sirius to be alone when it was on his own terms. Or at least, when he pretended it was.

“Well, Remus never did like looking at the stars much, Harry.”

“But he knows a lot about them,” Harry said simply as he yawned. He liked spending time with Sirius, he was as good as a dad could be. But Remus was his dad too, and somewhere in his five year old soul he felt that he was missing something important when Remus wasn’t there.

“But those are book stars, Harry. You know Remus, he knows everything you could find in a book. Remember that time he told you about the Centaurs and the Giant Squid at Hogwarts? But these are real stars and they don’t move the same. Plus, he doesn’t have one named after him.” Sirius winked at Harry in the dark so that all that could be seen was that the light reflecting on his eyes went out, which made Harry giggle.

“I thought,” said Harry, after he had stopped shaking, “that it was because it made him sick.”

Sirius didn’t know what to say to that, and if he could have thought of something, he was too busy wondering when Harry had noticed and what they’d done wrong. They’d been so careful. Remus had been apparating to the shack as long as they’d had Harry so that he could be alone during the transformation. This nearly killed Sirius, but he understood the need. Harry was just as important to him as Remus. All they had ever told him on the day after was that Remus had a headache and that Harry had to play quietly.

It had been at the same time every month though, reasoned the voice in the back of Sirius’ head. Harry was a bright boy and there were several constants that he probably couldn’t help but notice. Sirius hoped Harry didn’t feel left out for not knowing. He had constantly felt left out as a child and resolved not to put his Godson through that. But really, hadn’t it been better for him not to know?

He finally caught some of the words rattling around in his head, just to have something to say. “Yes Harry, it does make him sick. Do you know why?”

“Oh yes, it’s because he’s a lick-and-thrope. I read it in the book you were keeping under the coffee table," he added when he saw Sirius staring at him. "I wanted to read something else, but all the good books were on the high shelf and that was all I could reach.”

Sirius chuckled. “You know Harry, there’s a reason keep the good books on the high shelf.”

“But Sirius, I can read all kinds of things now. Remus taught me brilliant like. And I’ve read everything on the low shelf.” Harry pouted and Sirius ruffled his hair. Oddly enough, that made it look better.

Propping up the coffee table had been the best use he could think of for Fairowyn Nocturne’s Creatures of the Night. He had applauded it when it rather cheekily referred to him as the son of a hag, because really, who’s to argue with reason? But when it wasn’t satisfied and decided to call him a ‘beast buggerer’ he had wanted to do nothing more than tip it into the fire. It was Remus who had saved it, just in case, and placed it under the wobbly end of their coffee table. Sirius now settled with kicking it every time he walked by.

“But lycanthrope is an awfully big word for such a small boy, Harry. Do you know what it means?”

Harry thought for a minute, then he started out slowly. “I don’t know. The book said he might bite somebody, but Remus has never bitten anyone before.”

“I think Harry, that it was the book who wished to bite someone. But yes, Remus isn’t really Remus when the moon is out. He changes you see and-“

Harry shot up into a sitting position and scrambled closer to Sirius, the look on his face purely ecstatic. “You mean,” he whispered, “Remus can change too? Can I see? How come you never told me! How come you don’t change together, and then I could have two dogs and-“

Sirius reached out and placed his hand firmly over Harry’s mouth. “He can only change when the moon is out Harry, not all of the time like me. And he’s not very nice when he changes, so it’s best if we leave him alone.”

Harry pulled away from Sirius' hand, his face still ecstatic, but strangely reverent as well. “You mean, he really might bite somebody?”

“He may, but Harry, he’s not really Remus when he changes. You don’t have to be afraid of him normally.”

“M’not,” Harry said. “But Sirius, what does he change into?”

“Harry, if I tell you, you have to keep it a secret okay? Other people aren’t very nice to people like Remus, even though we know he wouldn’t so much as dog ear a page, okay?”

Harry nodded slowly and solemnly. Sirius was going to tell him a secret, and that certainly meant he was a grown up now, just like them. He was shaking with the excitement of being told something so important.

Sirius leaned in and spoke into Harry’s ear. “He turns into a wolf, Harry.”

Harry shuddered as the knowledge moved over him. Sirius watched him, trying to gauge his reaction. After some time, Harry took a deep breath. “Sirius, can I help tomorrow? I promise to be quiet, I promise!”

Sirius smiled and pulled Harry into the crook of his arm. He placed his chin on the top of Harry’s head and let the stray hairs tickle his nose. “Of course you can, but for now let’s go to the flat yeah?”

Harry nodded and yawned again. “But you have to promise,” he said as Sirius helped him dust the grass off his jeans. “You have to promise to wake me up as soon as he comes home Sirius. I really want to help.”

Sirius picked Harry up and let him rest his head on his shoulder. He took one last look at the moon and kissed Harry on the back of his head before heading back to the flat.

Harry was awakened the next morning to the sounds of Sirius trying to be quiet in the kitchen. Rubbing his eyes, he stumbled down the hall to find Sirius mixing cinnamon into some porridge in a metal pot using a metal spoon. The tinny, scraping noise made Harry’s hair stand on end. But there’s a possibility it was like that before.

“He just came back Harry,” Sirius said softly. “He needs to eat something before he goes to bed. Can you take this to him while I clean up?”

Harry accepted the bowl and carried it back down the hall towards the bedroom across from his own. He had expected to see Remus all bundled up under the covers when he opened the door. It was what Sirius did to Harry when he was sick. But instead, Remus sat on the edge of the bed in just his pants, facing away from the door. The water from the shower he had just taken dripped slowly out of his hair and followed the trails of scars down his back before it was finally soaked up by the waistband of his pants and the sheets on the bed. Harry squeaked, and Remus turned to look at him.

“Oh, Harry.” Remus winced a little as he moved back onto the bed, but there was a small smile around his eyes.

“Sirius let me bring you breakfast, he said I could help,” Harry said proudly as he carried the bowl into the room. Remus tugged the covers up around his waist before he accepted the bowl and perched it on his knees.

“What are you doing up so early Harry? I was sure you’d be having fantastic dreams until at least noon.”

“Sirius said I could help,” he said again, and stood beside the bed looking up at Remus, trying to find a part of the wolf in him.

“Sirius says a lot of things Harry. What are you helping with?”

“I’m helping you get over being sick from the moon,” Harry blurted, and Remus paused with the spoon just outside of his lips. “Can I talk to you Remus?”

Remus put the bowl to the side and reached down to help Harry scramble onto the bed. “Sure pup,” he said, as Harry curled up next to him.

Harry watched Remus eat some more before speaking again. “Remus, Sirius said you turn into a wolf! But he says you can’t do it all the time, which is boring.”

Harry sighed and Remus laughed a little around the pain in his ribs. Harry's manner very much reminded Remus of a young Sirius who had just found out that his friend was only a werewolf, after speculating for a whole year that he was really a spy hired by the Wizarding Task Force to keep tabs on the muggles. No one would suspect a gangly, ugly boy, after all.

“He’s right Harry. I only turn into the wolf one time a month. But that’s a good thing, because the wolf isn’t very nice.”

“Does he hurt you?” Harry said into Remus’ stomach as he made himself more comfortable.

“Sometimes Harry, sometimes,” Remus said, and brushed at Harry’s hair.

“Why don’t you ask him to stop?” Remus was so taken aback by the question that his hand stopped mid-stroke. He wished very much that he could just ask the wolf to stop, but as he had learned long ago, it didn’t work that way. He also wished that Harry would stay that innocent forever.

“Harry, the wolf is rude and won’t leave. It’s kind of like being sick. Someone has to cure me for the wolf to go away, and no one has figured out how yet.”

“No one?” Harry asked incredulously. No one! He thought. Maybe no one had tried properly. “Remus!” he shouted. “I’m going to find a cure!” And he slid off the bed and bolted out of the room, almost knocking over Sirius, who had been listening at the door.

Harry ran down the stairs and out of the building, into the small courtyard in the back. He’d find one of his snake friends. They knew everything. And if they didn’t, they could easily slither off and find out. Harry had tried to slither off with them once, but Sirius caught up with him a block later and carried him home by the back of his trousers. Young pups, he had said, stayed at home with their dads.

It took some poking around in the hedges in the corner before Harry found his favorite snake, the one he’d named Serp, curled up near the base of the bush and soaking up the warmth from the ground under him.

“Serp,” he hissed in the language only he knew. “Serp, get up! I have to know something important!” The snake raised its head and looked at Harry dolefully. His eyes were slit close and his tongue hardly flickered.

“What?” it asked. “I wasss ressting Harry.”

“I know, I’m sorry. I just wanted to know if maybe. Do any of you know how to cure someone who turns into a wolf?”

The snake didn’t take his eyes off Harry, but it didn’t answer either. It hadn’t ever encountered a human who could turn into a wolf.

“Does anyone?” Harry asked.

“I’ll asssk aroound,” the snake said, and then it slowly uncoiled itself and slithered off through the hole in the base of the fence.

Satisfied with that response, Harry crawled out from under the hedge and walked around the courtyard looking for things that might be cures, but that no one had ever looked for before. At the end of his search he crouched on the flagstones at the base of the stairs and sorted through his piles of goods.

Harry had collected: three elder berries, a dead earthworm, two eggs, a shiny sixpence someone had lost in the dirt, the end piece of a jump rope, three blue pebbles that were the color of the moon, which had to mean something, the cellophane from a cigarette packet that reflected light in pretty ways, and a piece of snake skin that may or may not have belonged to Serp. He’d have to ask when the snake returned.

He spread all of these things out and looked at them separately, weighing them for possible use. Elder berries tasted bad, just like the medicine Sirius gave him when he had a cough, so those very probably would help make an excellent medicine. The earth worm was already dead, and smushy to try and cut, so he discarded it, along with the eggs. The eggs weren’t dead, but they weren’t alive yet, and he didn’t think that killing anything would be good for a medicine that was supposed to save someone. The jump rope end looked like a small pink funnel and could probably be used for mixing, so he placed the stones into it and then the berries on top of them for safe keeping. The sixpence he placed into his pocket for biscuit money. Then he folded up the snake skin to place on top and wrapped the whole thing in the cellophane. When Serp came back, he’d carry them upstairs and figure out what to do with them.

Harry was nodding off on the bottom step when a small voice called to him from the grass at the edge of the building. He looked around to make sure none of his neighbors were close. Sirius had explained that talking to snakes wasn't a usual talent for a small boy and that it might cause problems, so Harry tried to keep it under wraps. Satisfied that no one was spying he slipped off the step and kneeled in the grass in front of Serp.

"Well?" Harry asked.

"Welll, Wellll," hissed the snake. "That'ss all the boooy saysss. Welll..."

"Well," began Harry, "did you find anything?"

Serp looked as disgruntled as his scales would let him and flicked his tongue in exaggerated motions. "Welll noo."

"Oh," Harry looked around again to make sure no one was there, because he felt like he might cry, and he really didn't want anyone to see that. He hadn't even started and he'd already failed. He sighed.

"One of the otherss sssaid that he knew of a mann trying to creaate one. But that wasss all."

"Oh!" said Harry again with more hope. "Did he say how?"

"We do nott keep tabss on humanss. But he did mentionnn a wossname, cauldronn, and some ssmooke."

"That's great Serp!" Harry jumped up and grabbed the jump rope end, careful not to spill anything. "I can do that! Thank you!" And he bolted into the building leaving Serp to coil back up and forget entirely about what had just happened.

Harry slowed down when he reached the landing to their flat and tip toed the rest of the way. He didn't want to let Sirius know he had come back, this had to be a surprise. He settled his ingredients on the table in the kitchen and went on a search for anything that might help someone who had never made a cure before in learning how to do it.

He dragged the copy of Creatures of the Night out from under the table in the living room and pushed it across the kitchen. He couldn't lift it to the table so he settled everything else on the floor around it and dug a pot out of one of the lower cabinets. It wasn't exactly a cauldron, but it had funny little handles like one, and the bottom was black from the time Sirius tried to work the gas stove, so it would probably work.

He dragged a chair across the kitchen so he could perch on it and fill the pot with water from the sink, and then returning to his work area he placed the berries and pebbles inside of it. It all looked very empty so he placed the snakeskin in too for good measure and waited.

And he waited.

Nothing happened.

Harry flipped through the book and tried to find anything that had to do with cauldrons. Even though Remus had taught him to sound out words he still didn't know what a lot of them meant. Losing hope he flipped the page one more time to find an illustration of a wizard standing over a cauldron and pointing his wand at it. So that's what he needed. Harry looked around the kitchen hoping that Sirius had left his wand out after breakfast, but it wasn't there.

Getting up he slunk along the hallway wall to the door to the room Remus and Sirius shared. It was ajar, so he stuck his eye up to the crack and surveyed the room. There was the wand propped on the corner of the dresser and there was Remus, facing the opposite wall and sleeping off the night before. The water to the shower was running. Harry took a deep breath and pushed the door open a little more. It creaked, but Remus didn't stir and the water didn't turn off, so he stealed himself and stepped into the room.

Harry dashed across the carpet and wrapped his fingers around the wand. He stepped back to make his getaway and landed his foot right onto something soft just as another set of fingers wrapped around his. Harry squeaked.

"You know pup," Sirius whispered, "little boys get in trouble for stealing."

Harry turned around to stare up at his godfather who was looking back at him with a smile on his face, water falling off of his hair to soak the carpet and the towel that was wrapped around his waist. A drop landed on Harry's trainer.

"Come on," Sirius said, and shooed Harry back out of the room, closing the door behind him. Sirius pushed Harry all the way out into the living room and sat him down on the couch. He opened his mouth, but closed it again as out of the corner of his eye, he spotted the pot and the book on the kitchen floor.

"Harry?" Harry, who hadn't had a chance to speak at all yet, just shook his head and watched his godfather walk over to the items. He stared down at them and rested his hands on his hips, trying to decide why they were there. Harry was afraid that he'd be in big trouble, worse than the time he tried to find Diagon Alley on his own, but Sirius just started laughing. He reached down and dipped his hand into the pot to bring out a dripping blue pebble. Some water splashed onto the book, which whined its complaint before Sirius shot it a very nasty look and it quieted.

"Oh Sirius, I was only trying to help I promise! You said I could!" Sirius just chuckled some more and walked over to the couch to sit down next to Harry. With his wet hand he pulled Harry into his lap and smoothed the hair falling over the scar.

"So you were gonna cure him, yeah?" Sirius kissed Harry on the forehead and Harry snuggled up into his godfather's chest. He wrapped a hand around some of the wet hair hanging about Sirius' shoulders.

"I don't want him to hurt anymore." Harry felt his face get hot as more tears welled up behind his eye lids.

"Oh pup, pup, pup." Sirius hushed him. He wrapped his arms around Harry and rocked him until Harry could look up at him again.

"I don't want him to hurt anymore either, but we can't do anything about it. What we can do, is be the best family we can and help make every other day special for him. And I think Harry, that you're brilliant at that." He smiled and cuffed Harry under the chin.

"Now tell me," he said looking at the blue stone he had pulled out of the pot. "What does this do? Maybe if I tap it on your nose it will disappear, yeah?" He rubbed the pebble across the tip of Harry's nose and blew a raspberry into his shoulder. Harry giggled and wriggled, he tried to think about other possible cures. He'd find it someday, he thought. One day, he'd fix Remus. He knew he could.